Christmas does seem to be everyone’s favorite holiday. In fact, it has been the darling of the holiday season since the days when we were too small to perch the angel at the top of the tree. Christmas has the stock in many adjectives: merry, jolly, wonderful. But sexy? Yes indeed, Christmas may be the most surprisingly sexy holiday imaginable. Still having trouble wrapping your mind around the image of a sexy St. Nick? Well here are six reasons that will have you changing your mind.
1. Naughty or Nice: He knows when you’ve been bad or good? Sounds like the opening of a really bad porno to me. Oh well, bad pornos are still pornos. Christmas invites the opportunity for a little bit of give and take, naughty and nice S&M time. Hey, we aren’t the ones in charge of writing the jingle. Be bad for goodness sake, my loves.
2. Lingerie commercials: Christmas commercials can be over the top annoying and in your face. Except for lingerie adds. The Victoria’s Secret Christmas commercial is the sexiest one around and then of course there is Aerie. True, Aerie is marketed toward the teeny bopper set but have you see the model they chose for their Christmas adds? We hope to see her transitioning to Vicky See’s soon enough.
3. Mistletoe: Doesn’t it seem a little suspicious to anyone else that a holiday supposedly centered around “family time” has a tradition that is literally the most historically perfect ice breaker? “Oh look mistletoe, guess that we are kissing now. And if you want, after we are done kissing… just throwing that out there.”
4. Christmas Clothes: Not the ugly Christmas sweaters! But the Holiday party dresses? From sequins to shades of red and gold, Christmas dresses are sure to make anyone feel like a fabulous Beyonce style diva. I recommend taking a stroll over to Urban Outfitters for their annual 12 days of dresses extravaganza. Just don’t purchase a tulle tutu…that one is mine.
5. Champagne: The family Christmas party: AKA an excuse to get drunk off of free festive drinks. The holidays are always the one time of the year when it suddenly becomes acceptable to get smashed in front of the family making for some interesting Christmas memories (the cousins who threw up in the basement bathroom and blamed it on the 3 dogs…)
6. Party jingles: Nearly every classic Christmas song seems to invite a rager into your house. From the sensible advice of rocking around the Christmas tree to the slightly sexier gidyap jingle horse, Christmas was made for the party animals of world. Still don’t believe us? Well, we didn’t want to be the ones to tell you but, we saw mommy kissing Santa Clause….
Photos by: Ellen Von Unwerth