Frankie Decaiza Hutchinson is the Online Editor at Galore Magazine. She specializes slow jams, gold jewelry, fried chicken, and hating. Follow @FrankieFatGold
No I don’t need help with my weights, thank you. Not because they’re three pound barbells, but because I don’t want anyone to talk to me while at the gym. I have learned my lesson. I once gave my number to a guy at the gym because he liked the way I ran, which translates as he liked the way my boobies moved as I ran because that reminded him of sex.
Being asked on a date is definitely not an every time at the gym occurrence, but I am very staunchly against any communication at the gym, unless of course I’m dying and yelling for water and in that case I have to be actually dying and yelling for water.
Why am I so adamantly against communication at the gym? I have a couple of distinct memories of interactions that have been terrible. For instance, these two women complimented my hair: nice. Then they went on to ask how long I’d been going to the gym because they inaccurately thought I looked thin: awkward. Then I got uncomfortable and basically told them I was an alcoholic so I’l never really lose weight: more awkward. Then they asked if I had kids, I replied no: what the fuck is going on. Then they stated that’s why I drink because I don’t have kids: WHAT IS GOING ON WHY AM I STILL STANDING HERE. I ended up introducing myself with no greater hope than to never see these women ever again.
I don’t want to rain on the parade of those who love making friends at the gym and have made some good friends there, but I can’t help it, I just cannot risk it in fear that it mind end up in the same way as it did with titty guy and the women diagnosing why I drink.
In terms of dating: don’t get me wrong, there are so many men at my gym that I would want to sleep with. But to sleep with/date someone at your gym it makes it harder to run away from when shit hits the fan, seeing as you’re running in the same vicinity as you met the person.
I can’t deny I do sometimes fantasize about having an amazing gym friend or boyfriend who’d be there for me when I pull a muscle, or refill my water if I run out, or wipe my brow when I’m sweating, or time me when I’m planking. But I probably wouldn’t meet this person inside of a gym. This person would probably would have already been my friend/boyfriend who I’d met in a more traditional circumstance, so if you see me at Planet Fitness (Myrtle/Wycoff) don’t say hello unless we have pre-established relationship.