Frankie Decaiza Hutchinson is the Online Editor at Galore Mag. She specializes in slow jams, gold jewelry, fried chicken, and hating. Follow @FrankieFatGold
I’m one of those people who pretends they know more about hip hop than they actually do, so I’m constantly on my phone whilst in the company of people who ACTUALLY know about hip hop and literally googling every person they talk about and then act like I know what they’re talking about. SO I had to employ the help of Adam, manager at infamous party bar Bossa Nova Civic Club in Bushwick NY. And he is kind of an expert on this not only because he’s knows everything but also he wears shirts to work that say “white pussy ain’t nothing but trouble”. He picked out the songs he thinks have the most degrading/brilliant/misogynistic/hilarious/offensive videos he could think of, and I wrote my thoughts on them.
There is ONE FEMALE RAPPER IN HERE, so men don’t backlash with WOMEN HATE MEN TOO. Yes we do hate you, but only because of videos like this. That said, there is something very funny about all of this and terribly sad and who cares. FYI this is not to point out that black men are the most misogynist men on the planet, because white rock boys it’s your turn next week, but that it’s generally shocking how far videos go and how little regard there is for women’s bodies.
And I actually don’t know how to create a button like this below so just read it and be warned of the content below, If you’re under 18, piss off basically.
Nelly- Tip Drill
If you read Jessie Andrews’s piece the other day, I included a gif that was from this video: Nelly swiping a credit card down a woman’s butt cheeks. I honestly don’t know if it’s funny, or I laugh out of shock but whatever the reason is I don’t think an image has ever been more explicit in saying a women’s body is for monetary value only or whatever. The rest of the video is basically an orgy of a lot more or this and IT’S FUCKING 7 MINUTES LONG and just repeats itself. We get it Nelly: you’re straight right? You like you have sex with women, right? You’re rich right? You like to throw money right?
Black Jesus- What that Thing Smell Like
Honestly, this video is kind of sad. It looks like a bunch of guys decided to film their video after attending church on Sunday. Also, the title: “What that Thing Smell Like”? Like really, why don’t you just put your head next to a woman’s vagina and smell it (not that they’d let you) instead of “writing” a song and producing a video about it, because I bet it smells…well I have one and it smells like fucking roses. OK OK OK, I’m sure they all smell different I guess and WHO CARES. The same guy who’d make a song like this, is the same guy who wouldn’t give a girl head. Also who the hell is Black Jesus? Because you certainly ain’t the one Christians pray too.
Mike Jone feat.Slim Thug & Paul Wall- Still Tippin’
This shit is so sleazy, apparently Slim Thug is getting head the entire time while driving his car. Honestly I couldn’t really deal with finding out so I just believed what Adam told me and had to post it.
Riskay- Smell Yo Dick
So this song is for women who have boyfriends who cheat, which could be every woman on the planet to be honest SORRY. The content of the video is not that raunch at all BUT the lyric “Can I smell your dick?” I mean it’s pretty much the b-side of “What That Thing Smell Like”, I obviously love the sentiment behind this but it’s delivered so hilariously badly that it sort of loses the point that could be made. The woman singing the refrain is singing “Can I smell your dick” is giving Mary J Blige raw emotion, no honey you’re sing “Can I smell your dick”.
Jadakiss- Knock Yourself Out
FUCKING HELL. This video is practically a porn video, so don’t watch it unless you’re alone and you know…well anyway. Basically there’s two versions to this video like a lot of rap videos. It’s undeniably trying to be sexyish I guess but it’s also, just, like, kind of, gross. Jadakiss kind of resembles a turtle so when you see his heading poking up between 3 women it’s kind of hilarious and traumatic at the same time, like, you actually are a turtle and your shell is made up of naked women. Honestly I wouldn’t watch this, I’m not a prude TRUST ME, but it’s all just a little unnecessary.
Gucci Mane- Hella Ones
If you ever wondered what it was like to poor milk on a naked woman, this video gives you a very accurate demonstration. Also unintentionally teaches us the dangers of too much body oil and swirling around in a bath tub: not safe. But I don’t think Gucci Mane is ever really thinking about safety, or maybe i’m completely wrong. IN ANY CASE, I can’t say that featuring in a video where milk is dumped on your head (because that’s only way he’d be able to get it to poor down a woman’s ass) is not something I’d be up for. It really makes you think how these ideas get developed. Like your intention is to make this woman feel as worthless as possible because there is no way this is your sexual fantasy because sex and milk JUST DON’T FUCKING MIX.