Fashion Week is all about cultural aesthetics and we prepare to present our best selves in public as many times as we can physically sustain. We live on kale and green juice for exactly one week, party all night and skip from fashion show to fashion show all day and record every single moment of our day and night via Instagram. We essentially turn ourselves into walking Vogue magazines. We are fashion in every sense of the social media defined word.
But now fashion week is over and we can’t even manage to walk to our doorway in even the most kittenish of heels. We can’t remember a day when we weren’t scheduling our days by the names of Hugo, Marc and Jason. How do we go back to our lives without mentally cataloguing model Twit-Pics during our morning commute?
Don’t worry, we have the steps on how to get you back to your entirely average self in no time.
Step 1: Carbs. Lots of them
Put down that celery stick and step away from the juicer. You don’t need to fit into your sample size skinnies anymore. It’s all about boyfriend jeans this season anyway. Fuck gluten free.
Step 2: Go to bed no later than 8
Ok, maybe 9 or 10 or even 12, but you need to sleep in. Do you even remember what your bed feels like? No more crashing in Hotels or fabulous apartment surfing for this lady. We need our requisite 10 hours!
Step 3: Sweatpants!
It isn’t even sweatpant season yet but if we have to wriggle into one more pair of skintight leather pants, we might actually lose a limb.
Step 4: Instagram your pets
Stop being fabulous. Your Instagram no longer has to be you with a model, you in couture, you at da club, stop, you don’t need it, Instagram some flowers or something.
Step 5: Turn yourself into a walking science mag
Basically just do everything the opposite of what did during Fashion Week.