When thinking back to your first crush, you may remember a funny looking kid who sat across from you in the first grade, or the boy you always tapped for “duck duck goose” in pre-school. But, let’s be honest with ourselves, if you’re anything like me, the first dude you really had the hots for was imaginary. Whether you were watching superheroes non-stop or replaying Disney movies, you can’t deny that you had some PG-rated thoughts about these cartoon hunks.
Batman
Whether you prefer George Clooney or Christian Bale as the Dark Knight, I think we can all agree that cartoon Batman is sexy no matter what. Bruce Wayne is the type of guy who wants to bang with the lights off, and will be gone by the time you wake up in the morning without so much as a note. But that’s why you love him isn’t it? (Aside from his awesome car and chiseled butt of course). Batman is that guy that you’ll never completely figure out, but that doesn’t keep you from coming (and cumming) back for more every time.
Pepe Le Pew from Looney Tunes
Pepe is that guy that hits you up EVERY Thursday night, and even after ignoring countless texts of his, he manages to still think he has a chance with you. If you ever do make the mistake of getting into bed with Pepe (whether out of drunkenness or desperation), you may have to get a restraining order.
P.S. We have a feeling he’s a minute man…
Cyclops from X-Men
He may only have one eye, but that means less chance of it wandering right? Cyclops (or Scott Summers) is the stereotypical good guy. He would probably wait ’till the third date to even bring up sex, and when you did finally get it on he’d be the type to ask “are you okay?” during the entire thing. Aside from the sex being a little vanilla, he’d never leave your side, although you may have to worry about villains cloning you in attempts to get to your sought after boy toy.
TJ from Recess
TJ is the guy next door, the guy you’ve always had chemistry and flirtation with, but nothing ever came out of it. You guys get it on when you’re visiting your family for Thanksgiving, and although you’ve been fantasizing about having this guy in bed ever since he threw spitballs at you in the third grade, it’s nothing special. Sorry TJ, maybe you peaked in elementary school?
Hercules
Ladies, if you find a guy like Hercules, please hold him tight! Not only is he a God (in bed and on Mount Olympus), but he’s a sweetheart! While he may have his own career goals (is slaying beasts a profession?), he always makes time for you and puts you first when it counts. Not to mention that if he’s throwing around huge monsters like The Titans with ease, imagine what he can do with you in the bedroom..
Ash Ketchum
I think his motto says enough; “Gotta Catch ‘Em All.” Ash may seem like the Pokemon master you’ve always wanted, but he’s a player and you’re just another notch in his bedpost, sweetie. The sex is standard, and usually only happens after all the battle arenas are closed. Before you know it, he’s moving on to someone hotter, say Charizard, and you’re wondering where your skills with his Pokemon Balls fell short.
Aladdin
Aladdin is that guy who will say anything to get you into bed, for example, that he’s a prince when really he’s practically homeless. He may seem like a great guy deep down, and show a whole new world of sexual positions you’ve never seen before, but if you’re looking for anymore than sex from this guy, you may want to pick up guys from somewhere other than the street market.
Shaggy from Scooby Doo
Depending on what stage you’re at in your life, Shaggy could be the perfect guy for you. When you go over to Shaggy’s; you’ll hit the blunt, have some great high sex, and shamelessly pig out on pizza- without feeling self conscious. You never feel like you have to impress him, he always provides dank weed, and he’s easy to please. But, eventually his constant lateness, unwillingness to find a real job, and sex in his smelly van will get old, and you’ll have to say goodbye to Shaggy and his adorable dog.
Cartman from South Park
They say fat guys love to eat pussy right? Well if you don’t mind a guy that has a little extra cushion for the pushin’, you may just end up in bed with Eric Cartman. You were attracted to his passion, leadership, and elaborate planning skills, but after the post-orgasmic haze drifted off, you realize he is an arrogant and racist asshole. He might be that one hook-up you’ll always regret, but you’ll always have a soft spot for him.
Tuxedo Mask from Sailor Moon
Tuxedo Mask, or Mamoru Chiba, is prince charming…with a troubled past. You may feel like he’s always sending mixed feelings, but this could be due to the fact that he’s constantly getting brainwashed by his enemies. If you’re trying to get involved with him, be ready to play the role of damsel in distress, but nothing wrong with a guy who’s strong and powerful. His mind reading powers will ensure that he always gives you what you want in bed, and don’t all girls expect guys to be mind readers anyways?