Every time a girl tells me that she fakes orgasms with her man, or god forbid has NEVER had an orgasm, I shed a little tear inside. Sex is supposed to be a mutually wonderful activity! Unless your sole purpose is to have a child, you should not continue having sex until you can start enjoying yourself.
One of the most common factors stopping girls from having the big O seems to be some form of self-consciousness. Believe me, I get it, I wish I had the body of Adriana Lima and had the sexual prowess of Rihanna too. However, whether you’re worrying about how you look naked, or if he likes the way you’re using your tongue; letting go of all outside thoughts during sex is how you’re going to have bigger, better, and more frequent orgasms.
First, you need to realize that guys are simple creatures. If they are having sex, they are fucking ecstatic. They are way too busy to realize that you haven’t shaved in a couple days or that you’re panties say “I <3 PINK" on them. They are focused on more important things, like how to not bust in under 60 seconds. While it's all fine and dandy to try to please a guy with your deep-throating skills or fishnet thigh highs, it's more important to focus on you. Or at least, until you have an orgasm.
My motto is that if I'm thinking about something other than sex during sex, it's not good sex. Luckily I don't usually have problems with this, and there's always a few glasses of wine (A FEW, not a whole bottle) or a blunt to clear your head if necessary. But, for example, if my boyfriend and I just had a fight and I'm still thinking about that fight mid-doggy style? Bad sex.
So, while I’m all for exploring your sexual prowess as much as you want, you need to be comfortable with yourself first before you start banging every guy that buys you a pumpkin spice latte.
First off, if you don’t masturbate, you should start. If you seriously are still grossed out by the idea of touching yourself, how are you okay with random guys touching you down there instead? When you play with yourself, you get to know yourself and what you like, plus you feel sexy doing it (or you should). The more that you know what you want, the less you’ll shy away from subtly hinting to your boy to “touch me there.”
Second off, maybe you should stop hopping into bed with the first guy who tells you you’re pretty. This may sound harsh, but I have way too many friends who try to use guys to boost their self-esteem, which usually ends in drunken tears at 2AM when they realize he hit it and quit it. If you don’t feel comfortable with a guy, you shouldn’t sleep with him. I’m not saying to put some stupid “three date rule” into place or something. Some guys I am immediately comfortable with, others I need to get to know better, it’s a gut feeling that only you can have. But from experience, sex generally gets better the longer you know somebody. This is not because your boyfriend is stealing your Cosmo and reading the sex tips, it’s because you’re both more comfortable with each other. The longer you know someone, the more they understand what you like, and the less you worry about impressing him.
Sex is not something you bribe guys with (okay…maybe sometimes), if you listen to these tips, your man is going to be the one bribing you with sex because it’s going to be that much better. You are fucking sexy, and you need to remember that the next time your man is face first in your lady parts. Now get off the computer and get off yourself.