If I had to make a list of my pet peeves, one of them would surely be small talk. Contrary to what my dad may have called me growing up, I really am not a loner – I love meeting new people. I just hate the meaningless conversation that tends to develop when meeting someone for the first time.
In the past, I seem to have always became close to people that were completely opposite of me in that way – people who were very outgoing and talkative. Whether my best friend or my boyfriend, I always seemed to gravitate towards people who would make up for my silence with their constant chatter. Now that I’m older and (somewhat) wiser, I’ve realized that while it might be okay to be the quiet one in your friend group, there’s no excuse for being with a dude who blabs on and on about his day, but never ever stops to ask you about yours. Why is being quiet a good thing?
It shows that he actually gives a shit.
Guys have become masters of deceiving chicks so that they can get in their pants. While I must commend them for their efforts, one thing that can immediately make me realize that a guy doesn’t give a fuck about me is if he doesn’t ask questions. I don’t mean questions like “what’s your major” and “how’s your night going?” I mean real fucking questions, like “I noticed you wear a lot of Jeffrey Campbell shoes- what other designers do you like?” Yes, a dude has asked me this and no, he wasn’t gay.
If you’re going to talk about yourself, it should be with him.
Regardless of how quiet you are in your office or in class, if you’re dating someone you shouldn’t be shy about expressing your feelings around them. Whether it’s about where you really want to go to dinner (unless you’re an annoying chick like me who “doesn’t care,” ever) or how he can make you orgasm, it’s important to let your dude know what you want. If you haven’t figured it out by now, dudes aren’t mind-readers. And believe it or not, they actually like when you’re straight up with them.
It means he always will teach you something new.
If a guy asks a lot of questions wherever he is, it means he probably has a lot of useless (but interesting) information stored up there. Granted, if he bestows this knowledge upon you in a pretentious manner, it can get old fast. However, if you’re dating a cutie who can tell you random facts about the author you’re reading or the building you work in, it means there’s always something to talk about.
He’s never a boring date.
Dating a guy who’s never afraid to ask questions means that you always have a chance at exploring something you never would have seen otherwise. Whether it’s a new art exhibit down the street, or getting into a private event because he asked the security guard so sweetly if you two could be let in. Regardless of how “in love” you are with your bae, take-out and Netflix can get old fast.