Long term relationship? Those words may have fallen out of your vocabulary a long time ago, maybe back in the days of high school, or the first year of college when you were still trying to make that long distance high school work from across the country (yeah, remember that shit?).
Long term relationships are apparently hard to come by these days. With “dating” (read: hook up) apps like Tinder and OkCupid, and the internet becoming an actual place where we meet, flirt, and connect with people who we end up having sex with, it seems more and more difficult to actually cultivate long term relationships– maybe even altogether alien.
So how do you get out of the habit of casual sex every weekend with a new partner? Or, perhaps more importantly, why should you want to get out of that habit? If you’re getting what you want out of casual hook ups then by all means keep on with it. But if casual sex just isn’t doing it for you and you are ready to develop some emotional intimacy with another human being, than it’s time to take a deep breath and try out this very scary thing….
Vulnerability.
Yes. It is terrifying. In the age of casual hook ups and having no feelings, bearing your soul to someone can seem like an insane idea. Why do it? Will you get hurt? Is the world going to implode when you admit that you actually have the ability to care about someone else?
To be brief: Being vulnerable is the only way you are ever going to cultivate emotional intimacy between you and a potential partner. Yes, you MIGHT get hurt. They might laugh in your face and run in the other direction. But then again, they might not. They may have similar feelings, but felt too scared to disclose them.
A lot of people associate vulnerability with weakness, or being clingy. I’m not suggesting you throw yourself at someone’s feet and tell them you are so madly in love with them that you feel like you might die every time they leave in the morning to go to class or to work. I’m merely suggesting that you be honest about your feelings with the person you’re rubbing genitals with. Believe me, if you can let this person lick you vagina, you can tell them how you feel.