Doing your makeup in the summer is different from doing it in the winter.

Sure, your hands are the same and sure, maybe you’re using all the same makeup, but something about 90-degree weather 24/7 makes a girl wanna do less.

Which is convenient seeing as the Instagram lip is officially basic and anyone who’s everyone is opting for the no-makeup makeup look instead.

Luckily Angelina Jolie’s makeup artist has a tip on how to get Instagram-ready lips without making yourself look like you have Instagram lips!

Swap out your lipliner for concealer.

READ ALSO: Have you ever noticed all the dick emojis hang to the left?

Angelina Jolie’s makeup artist — who’s apparently so iconic he just goes by a one-word name, Matin — says the key to creating the ultimate natural-looking lip is concealer.

“I lightly go around the lips and create the contour instead of a pencil with a concealer,” he explained to W Magazine. “It makes the corners sharp and beautiful and when you put the sheer color on top, you don’t have to rely on a pencil.”

Your lips will still look clean and precise, you’ll just look a little more easy and breezy.

Plus think of all the money you’ll save over the course of the summer if you don’t have to keep buying new lip pencils! OK so when you think about it that’s not really that much money but every dollar counts, right?

[H/T W Mag]

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Let me just say this right now and get it over with: it’s really hard to follow Victoria’s Secret diets.

Like on a scale from 1 to becoming president, it’s a solid 8.

To be honest, when I first pitched this assignment, I didn’t think it would be. I thought to myself, “I watch what I eat. I’m a size 4. I’ve been on a more or less constant diet for my whole life. How much different could it possibly be to eat like a different Victoria’s Secret model for a month?”

Answer: different.

Very different.

And incredibly, mind-numbingly boring.

READ ALSO: Kylie says her and Kendall’s smiles are totally fake in this photo

Week 1: The Behati Prinsloo Diet

LOVE is all we need ❤️ @victoriassecret #vsfashionshow 2nd year in a row @10magazine

A post shared by Behati Prinsloo Levine (@behatiprinsloo) on Nov 11, 2015 at 1:06pm PST

I started off my month of hell dieting with VS Angel Behati Prinsloo’s diet for a couple reasons.
#1: We’re the same age
#2: She’s married to my dream man
#3: It seemed like the most challenging, so why not get it out of the way first?

This is what Behati Prinsloo eats everyday:

BREAKFAST: 1 6oz package of One Lucky Duck Vanilla Crispies (which consists of buckwheat, vanilla extract, and agave)
LUNCH: 5-oz. grilled chicken breast added to an Organic Avenue kale quinoa salad
SNACK: a handful of raw almonds, pumpkin seeds and goldenberries
DINNER: 6 pieces tuna and salmon sashimi and sushi with brown rice, no soy sauce

Already, I realized I was going to have to make some modifications because:
#1: One Lucky Duck closed all of its stores in NYC
#2: Even if they didn’t, seeing as one package of crispies costs $8.50, buying 7 of them sure as fuck wasn’t going to happen
#3: Likewise, I couldn’t afford to buy sushi or Organic Avenue salads every day

This is what I was going to eat every day:

BREAKFAST: 6-oz. of organic buckwheat groats with two teaspoons of agave
LUNCH: 2 scrambled eggs with half an avocado on a slice of whole wheat toast (which I read Behati ate sometimes here)
SNACK: a handful of almonds
DINNER: 6-oz. of seitan (have I mentioned that I’m a vegetarian already) with 1 cup of raw kale, 1/2 cup of quinoa with olive oil and lemon dressing.

Is your stomach already seizing up just thinking of this caloric nightmare?

Good. It should be.

I also resolved to do yoga twice a week for one hour, because that’s what Behati says she does, and for once, that’s a Victoria’s Secret fitness regime that sounds like something I can definitely handle.

DAY 1

MORNING

I’m honestly surprised by how satisfying my bowl of buckwheat groats is. Like all hail the power of a little agave and cinnamon to transform something that tastes like health into something I actually want to gobble down while writing about whether or not Drake and Hailey Baldwin are fucking.

AFTERNOON

After eating lunch, I feel surprisingly full, but but by 5:45 I feel so hungry that I could punch myself for ever agreeing to do this story in the first place. I know I have a handful of almonds alloted to me as a snack, but I’m trying to save that for dessert, so I decide to drink some coconut water to tide me over, which seems like a really great idea until I actually opened my mouth to drink said coconut water and I remembered something crucial: I hate coconut water.

Over the course of the next half hour, I repeatedly tried to force myself to take more than one baby sip at a time, but realized that I would have to be a lot hungrier for that to work.

So I make a deal with myself: I’ll have half of my almonds now and half later. I have literally never been so psyched to eat some almonds. Like, maybe I need to add them to my list of favorite foods, that’s how exciting this moment is for me.

Reminder: I have been dieting for LESS THAN 10 HOURS, people!

EVENING

By the time 8 p.m. rolls around, I’m not starving yet, but I also realize I’m not going to get any less hungry, so I make my way to the kitchen and proceed to do literally every singe thing I can to procrastinate making a kale salad that I seriously doubt will tide me over for the rest of the night.

Less than an hour later, I sit down to my kale salad, which is bland as fuck because I forgot to buy lemons from the store, but it’s actually okay. Full disclosure, I’m pretty sure I used too much kale, but I was so hungry that I didn’t feel like measuring and whatever because it’s just kale. Surprisingly, I feel full and vaguely content.

But by 11 p.m., this feeling of fullness fades, and I become so hungry and unable to concentrate on the puzzle I’m working on with my boyfriend (lame, I know) that I resolve to go to bed early and try to sleep it off.

Day 2

MORNING

Not feeling full after my buckwheat this morning. Have a really bad feeling about what the rest of my day will be like.

Sure enough, by 10 a.m., I’m already hungry and by 10:54 a.m. my stomach is audibly gurgling, which makes me feel like the cutest person in the coffee shop.

AFTERNOON

By noon, I don’t know what happened, but my hunger has finally subsided. It’s a miracle.

An hour later, I break down and eat lunch and unsurprisingly, I also don’t feel super full after this meal, but getting to eat three different things that taste so delicious and full of flavor feels luxurious in a way I don’t think I’ve properly appreciated before. In a couple of hours, when I’m rolling on the floor with hunger pains, I’ll try and remember my moment of happiness.

By 2:30, I can’t even help it, I need to eat half my  almonds now or I will explode.

Scratch that, I need all the almonds.

By 5:36 PM, the hunger is really starting to get to me. I’ve already eaten all my almonds for the day and it’s way too early to eat dinner.

On top of that I feel sad knowing that I’ll be spending tonight alone because my roommates are at work, my friends are too far away, and my boyfriend already made plans to hang out with his friends.

All I have to look forward to is a trip to the grocery store to buy a lemon so my kale salad doesn’t suck tonight.

I wonder to myself if this is how Behati feels sometimes, when Adam is at work filming for The Voice or away on tour, and all of her model friends are either halfway around the world on a shoot or equally too exhausted to move.

What a drag to have to go through this feeling every day,.

And then, because I literally couldn’t think of anything else to do, I took a selfie which ended up getting more likes than anything I’d posted in months.

So hungry that I legit don’t want move.

A photo posted by Maria Pasquini (@squeenz) on Jun 2, 2016 at 3:28pm PDT

EVENING

My salad tastes so much better, but it still tastes like a plain salad.

I’m feeling exhausted and famished so again, I just decide to call it a night early.

DAY 3

MORNING

I could write a love poem to groats, because that’s how hard I’ve fallen for them.

AFTERNOON

Around noon my stomach starts to grumble, and I am not upset at how much more manageable my hunger is today, although to be completely honest, I haven’t moved more than 15 feet since waking up, so my lack of activity may or may not have something to do with that.

An hour later, I eat my lunch faster than anything I’ve eaten in a long time, but I feel full, so whatever.

EVENING 

Feel surprisingly great after yoga, but mostly just because I had something else to think about for an hour besides how hungry I was.

Day 4

MORNING

Sadly, after eating my groats this morning, I did not feel full, and instead saw stars in front of my eyes whenever I stood up for longer than a few seconds. This is probably not a great sign.

AFTERNOON 

Feeling faint. Feeling weak. Feeling hot. Feeling like I want to die right here on the subway. I even cheated and had a piece of bread before lunch and I still feel like this.

On the bright side, one of my friends just told me I look really great.

EVENING

For some strange reason, I’m just not that hungry tonight, so I skip the toast part of my scrambled eggs and avocado meal, which works out seeing as I was a fatty and already had a piece of toast today.

Around 11 PM, I eat my handful of almonds, not so much because I’m hungry, but because I really would have killed for it a few hours earlier when I was so hungry I was actually welcoming death.

Day 5

MORNING

Groats.

Three hours later I eat all my almonds. It’s early. Whatever. Shit happens.

AFTERNOON

Lunch

Feeling exhausted, but also incredibly skinny.

EVENING

I accidentally took a nap for three hours, which is one way to avoid feeling sad about how little I get to eat.

Legit cannot even finish my salad today because it tastes so boring. I resolve to myself to never eat another raw kale salad with olive oil and lemon for as long as I live.

DAY 6

I barely thought about my hunger all day. My meals were satisfying and I could stretch out the length between them without a problem.

And then dinner happened.

My boyfriend and I went out to sushi, and it was so sad. Seeing everybody with food in front of them, salivating over THE SALAD my boyfriend got to eat before his sushi EVEN GOT TO THE TABLE.

And then, having to watch him be so full HE COULDN’T EVEN EAT HIS LAST 4 ROLES, which was 3/4 of what I’d had as a meal.  

Needless to say I was hungry the rest of the night and needed to eat an extra half fistful of almonds just to not lose it.

DAY 7

Again, food wasn’t really an issue today. Surprisingly, my body has gotten used to eating small amounts of delicious food. I think it’s also helped that I’ve abandoned the raw kale salads, which were always the roughest part of the diet for me.

And I will say, I look great. A week obviously isn’t long enough to get a completely flat stomach, but I can see how this diet + exercise is effective while only occasionally being the worst. 

Here’s what I looked like before I started dieting:

Isn’t it weird that I’m just a torso?

And here’s what I looked like after eating like Behati for a week?

JK, I have one arm

SEE THE SUBTLE DIFFERENCE?

WEEK 2: The Vita Sidorkina Diet

A post shared by VITA SIDORKINA (@vitasidorkina) on May 31, 2017 at 3:21pm PDT

Again, I decided to do this diet next for a few reasons:

#1: It let me eat more
#2: It let me eat yogurt for breakfast, which is one of my favorite foods IN THE WORLD
#3: It let me utilize most of the groceries I still had leftover from week one

Vita hasn’t been quite as explicit about her diet as Behati was, but thanks to Instagram I was able to piece something today that seemed comparatively decadent.

This is what Vita Sidorkina eats every day:

BREAKFAST: 1 cup of yogurt (or oatmeal) with mixed berries and nuts
LUNCH: avocado toast with 2 hardboiled eggs
SNACK: fruits and nuts
DINNER: zucchini pasta if she’s being good, literally anything else if she’s being bad

DAY 1

Okay okay, so I forgot to actually go to the grocery store last night so I ended up having a cup of groats for breakfast, and 5 pieces of leftover sushi for lunch, which wasn’t an attempt to cut calories, that’s just literally all I had in my fridge.

Dinner was actually a treat seeing as I’ve never had a hardboiled egg before (I know, what’s wrong with me?), and then I had my handful of almonds for desert.

DAY 2

I’m sorry, but today was going so well until I made the mistake of agreeing to meet my boyfriend for a drink when he got off at work.

But seriously, how am I supposed to say no to checking out the brand new tiki bar that just opened around the corner from his apartment?

Before I knew it, one drink had turned into two and then two drinks turned into me stuffing a bahn mi veggie hot dog down my face.

Oops.

DAY 3

I woke up feeling really bad about last night (LOL, how my values have shifted), and so after a sensible breakfast of oatmeal, agave and blueberries, I decided to hit the gym for some cario. Only then I remembered that I was out of fresh contacts, and the idea of running with my glasses on makes me upset.

So then I thought about doing yoga, but realized I’d be much happier if I sat in bed and just watched Daria for the next 30 minutes.

For lunch I had a cup of yogurt with blueberries, chia seeds, pumpkin seeds, walnuts and agave, but then for dinner I stopped by a local vegetarian restaurant and had a steaming bowl full of tofu, broccoli, carrots and some form of chili. It was delicious, unquestionably healthy, but I still probably ate more than I should have even though I stopped as soon as I felt full.

DAY 4

You guys, I was so good today. I had oatmeal for breakfast, yogurt for lunch, and a bowl of soup for dinner that couldn’t have been more than 250 calories. I also did a very abs-centric yoga workout for 45 minutes which was so intense that I cried TWICE.

DAY 5

For breakfast I had yogurt, and then for lunch I had avocado toast minus eggs (because I ran out and didn’t have time to go across the street), so to compensate for the 160 calories I didn’t consume (an egg is about 80 calories, did you know that?) I went and got two tacos with my friend.

I’m pretty sure everything more or less evened out, but IDK.

DAY 6

Zucchini pasta is your friend, guys. It really, truly is.  I had one bowl and literally still felt full after I split a spliff with my roommate.

Miracles, they really do exist.

And honestly, after six days, I was ready to give this one a rest.

Here’s what I looked like after two weeks of dieting:

look, there’s me and my one arm again

SEE HOW SKINNY I’M GETTING, GUYS?

WEEK 3: The Nutritionist Diet

Okay, so this feels kind of like cheating,  but I wanted to see if it would feel that different to follow the diet that a nutritionist who works with Victoria’s Secret models suggested. It also just seemed like a lot of food and after two weeks of (mostly) lean meals, I was ready for a change.

Here’s what I was allowed to eat this week:

BREAKFAST: 1 cup of egg whites, 1/3 cup oats, 1/2 banana
SECOND BREAKFAST: 1 cup nonfat Greek yogurt and a cup of berries
LUNCH: protein source, plus as many vegetables as you want PLUS one apple/peach/pear
DINNER: same, minus the fruit
DESERT: 1/2 cup nonfat cottage cheese with 1 tbsp of cocoa power

Also, if I wanted a drink, I was totally allowed to have one! It had to be tequila with soda water, but still! What luxury!

Although to be honest, not so sound like a bitch or anything, but this diet was way just too much for me. Too much food, too many specific eating intervals, and even though I bought the cottage cheese, the idea of eating cottage cheese and cocoa power makes me want to vomit.

I did not follow this diet perfectly ONCE, and I can definitely tell the difference between a diet that’s coming straight from a nutritionist, and a diet that’s coming from a model who works with a nutritionist, if that makes any amount of sense.

Here’s how this week went.

DAY 1:

I woke up, had my cup of egg whites (which TBH are really annoying to scrub off my non-stick pan, and I really don’t care they’re less calories because they also taste like NOTHING and are NOT WORTH IT), and 1/3 cup oats, but I didn’t have the banana, and I made no attempt to even buy one for the duration of this diet.

Not that I have anything against bananas, it just didn’t happen.

Then for lunch, I had what I should have had for second breakfast.

Then for dinner, I had what I should have had for lunch, and somewhere along the way, I had a rice cake, and it was delicious and immediately became my new favorite food.

This is more or less what happened ever day, so I’ll spare you the repetition and only report what was different.

Day 2

More of the same, only for lunch I had leftover Chinese food from my cheat day, only without the rice.

Day 3

Today, I had a slice of pizza for dinner. I don’t remember why, but I do remember that it was delicious and I didn’t even feel bad because after banging my now-protruding hipbone against my door for the third time in a row, I was feeling so skinny that I thought, what the hell?

Day 4

Today I was good all the way until my boyfriend offered to split a cookie with him.

I have no regrets.

Day 5

My diet is boring. I have become boring. All I do is talk about food and for fun, I like to go to the grocery store and look at how delicious all the perfectly-packaged food is.

Day 6

I make an effort to really follow my diet today.

I have breakfast when I’m supposed to (minus the banana, but whatever), and then a few hours later I have yogurt and blueberries.

For lunch, I have a kale salad with avocado and then for dinner, I make zucchini pasta with veggie sausage.

It’s really delicious, but honestly, I can’t say that this diet was super successful for me seeing as I never followed it once and don’t see how any normal person with a life could.

This is what I looked like after three weeks of dieting:

Mmmhm, look at that underboob.

LOOK, IT ALMOST LOOKS LIKE I HAVE ABS EVEN THOUGH I’M NOT WORKING OUT AT ALL!

Week 4: The Alessandra Ambrosio Diet

Weekend mood … Chill ☀️❤️ #foreveronvacation

A post shared by Alessandra Ambrosio (@alessandraambrosio) on May 13, 2017 at 2:48pm PDT

We’ve disparaged this diet before for being way too easy to be effective, but over the course of my dieting, I’d come to an interesting conclusion about Victoria’s Secret diets that I really wanted to test.

I think that the reason why almost every Victoria’s Secret model will say they eat things like pizza and grilled cheese and cupcakes on a regular basis is because they’re working out so much that it just doesn’t fucking matter.

So, even though I wouldn’t be working out remotely as hard, I decided to work out every day for an hour.

Here’s what Alessandra Ambrosio eats every day:

BREAKFAST: eggs, and sometimes croissants or toast
LUNCH: salad
SNACK: nuts
DINNER: no sugar/carbs, unless she really wants pasta and then fuck it
DESSERT: one to two cupcakes a week because YOLO

DAY 1

So, today I took the whole loosey goosey diet approach very literally.

It just so happened to be my two-year anniversary of dating my boyfriend (I know, it’s gross), and so I kind of ate whatever I wanted.

For breakfast, I had a cup of groats, for lunch I had the leftover Chinese food from my cheat day (again with no rice), and then for dinner I ate all the food.

I had pasta, I had cake, I had lots of alcohol, and I felt great about it.

Day 2

Literally, I forgot to write down anything down for today, so let’s just assume that I ate three square meals and a snack, okay?

Day 3

After my sensible breakfast of eggs, I was feeling very hungry and very tempted by the mouth-watering croissants and bagels I saw people eating all around me. Still, I stayed strong and didn’t eat again until lunch, when I made myself a sensible salad of kale, onion, green pepper, half an avocado, and just a smidgen of cheese.

Even though I know how incredibly low carb the whole thing was, the cheese makes me feel fat. Like, literally I felt like a tub o’ lard. How Kim Kardashian does it as a mystery.

Then after my workout, I was starving but 15 minutes late to meet my boyfriend in the city, so I grabbed another smidgen of cheese and a tiny slice of the banana bread my roommate had just made.

Just before midnight I had a GIGANTIC doughy wrap which was delicious and worth every calorie, although I felt incredibly guilty while I was walking back to the subway.

Day 4

I was so good today, you guys. You don’t even want to hear about it.

Day 5

Again, I was so good today, or at least I was until 11 p.m. rolled around and I just had to have one cookies and cream Hershey’s Kiss.

I know, I’m so disgusting.  You don’t even have to shame me.

Day 6

Today just so happened to be the Pride parade in NYC, so let’s just say that I “accidentally” got wasted and stoned and then proceeded to eat all of the food, okay?

But it’s okay because two different people commented on how skinny I looked, and one of them was a stranger.

Day 7

I was way too hungover to remember to bring eggs over to my boyfriend’s apartment, so I got a relatively healthy breakfast box at the coffee shop around the corner. There was some kale, a soft-boiled egg, a little cheese, and 80% more grits than I felt good about consuming.

I did not feel great about this choice.

By the time the afternoon rolled around, I was still feeling out of it, so instead of making a slad, I had two rice cakes with cheese instead. It felt filling, but then 30 minutes later I stress ate a bag of almonds, so you tell me how good of a decision it was.

Even though I had a perfectly respectable dinner of zucchini pasta WITHOUT veggie sausage, I still feel very fat and bloated, which is a joke seeing as literally all of my clothes feel loose right now.

This is what I looked like after 4 weeks of dating:

I’ll really miss getting to take all these bathroom selfies

In conclusion:

Following a steady program of Victoria’s Secret diets is hard, but it is doable.

And yes, you will lose weight. Even when you start to slip up.

And yes, you will feel more confident when you wear a crop top in public, and you may even convince yourself that you don’t need to suck in your stomach anymore, but I’m sorry to report that you won’t look at yourself in the mirror every morning and think, damn, I look like a model.

You’ll still see all of the tiny flaws that are invisible to any eye besides yours, and after a big meal of vegetables, you may even find yourself thinking, “what a bloated cow I’ve become.”

But the next morning none of that will matter because you’ll finally be able to eat anything you want, and why spend a second crying over your weight when you could be eating a bagel with tofu cream cheese and avocado?

Life is too short to walk around wishing you looked like a 5’9” beauty queen who spends all day at the gym anyway.

So fucking chill out and eat a sandwich already.

Planning a trip can seem totally stressful at first.

How are you supposed to figure out getting from place to place and what if you’re trying to keep it cheap? I absolutely thought this before my first time backpacking alone, but I found out there are so many apps that can be really helpful to use on the road. These are my favorites for finding places to stay and cool stuff to check out.

1. maps.me

In the likely event that you don’t plan on shelling out money for an international phone plan, you’ll probably find yourself stuck without Google Maps. You’ll definitely want to download maps.me, which is an offline maps service meaning that you can get directions literally anywhere without using data. You can download it here!

2. HostelWorld

If you’re trying to meet new people and get right in the heart of action (which, duh, you’re traveling) I highly recommend staying at a hostel. Especially if you’re traveling alone, it is such an awesome way to meet other people who are also down to adventure and go out.

If you’re trying to travel cheap (and safe), HostelWorld can totally have your back. The app has thousands of hostels all over the world ranked by safety, atmosphere and location so you can find the perfect combination of beauty rest and having a good time.

Just make sure to check how many reviews there are, you don’t want to get stuck in a place that says 5 stars but only one person reviewed it and that person was the manager. Check out the options here.

3. Skyscanner

READ ALSO: These Travel Bloggers Are Somehow Sick of Travel Blogging

This is the fastest way I’ve found to book cheap flights. Sometimes when I’m bored I just check Skyscanner to see all the cool places I could be instead of sweating it out on the L Train in NYC. Just dreaming. You can download the app here.

4. Rome2Rio

This app can get you from A to B by showing you the time and money it takes to fly, train, bus, and taxi between destinations. It even shows you transportation schedules and can help you book a car. Check it out.

5. CouchSurfing

Couch surfing lets people offer housing for travelers often because they are interested in meeting new people and showing them around their city. Staying in a random person’s house does sound kinda crazy but Couch Surfing has you make a profile, kind of like Facebook, which asks you everything from what languages you speak to what books you’re reading, and people leave reviews for each other.

Definitely take some caution with this one, but it is a really great way to meet local people and get a better understanding of customs while you’re there! Find a couch to sleep on here.

6. Facebook groups: girls love travel

When I was in Cambodia, I met some girls who were traveling together and said that they had met on Facebook. This totally opened my eyes to all the awesome travel groups on Facebook for suggestions, advice and literally just supporting other women and cheering them on as they travel the world.

The group “Girls Love Travel” is literally all of that and is such an awesome resource to have. They also have a website here.

7. Meetup

The app Meetup has a travel segment which can be a really cool way to link up with another group of people that are traveling or all trying to go out, just don’t get catfished. Check it out here.

8. Roadtrippers

This one’s just for US travel. But Roadtrippers is awesome for finding off-the beaten path stops and planning your own Crossroads style trip. I once drove from New York to Texas to pick up a hairless cat my friend bought on the internet and purely used Roadtrippers to find food, places to stay, and fun things to look at. 10 out of 10. Start planning your trip here.

READ ALSO: These 10 apps will make your photos look like shit, in a good way

Everyone knows that guy love to call girls crazy without any other explanation, and when you dig deeper you realize that the “craziest” thing she did was show emotion or try to introduce him to his parents after they’d been dating for a full year.

So naturally, our favorite content involves girls telling stories about when their boyfriends were actually the crazy ones. But, by a stroke of luck, we actually stumbled upon content where guys admitted they were crazy. Self-awareness level really on 100.

In this Reddit thread, started by a guy who knew he was being crazy and wanted to feel comforted by others who had done the same, guys confess the times where they were the crazy ones. Enjoy.

READ ALSO: How to Tell if a Guy’s Not Feeling it Anymore

1. This Is Why You Don’t Stay Friends With An Ex

Not overtly crazy so much, but just a bit obsessive. Broke up with the ex and moved away. But then chatting online, I was just constantly obsessed with her and what she was doing. She would say ‘last night I went out,’ and my mind would fill in ‘…and went home with 3 guys and banged all 3 at once.’  I would probe a little around that too.

Once I visited and hung out with her and pathetically asked ‘can I kiss you?’ after we had driven somewhere.

Anyway finally just told her ‘I’m fixated on you and can’t move on so I’m going to stop talking to you.’ – urchigold

READ ALSO:Guys Confess The Sexual Fantasies They’re Scared To Tell Girls

2. Don’t Say Sorry If You’re Going to Flip Shit Later

She suggested we ‘take a break.’ I proceeded to write her a letter telling her how sorry I was for stuff and how I wanted to stay friends. Then I freaked out on her for not reciprocating. I texted her every few days/weeks for a few months before I accepted she was trying to ghost me. – zimmer199

3. Guys Getting Blackout After a Breakup? Never Seen That

SOme ‘I need a break’ situation. Met her at a Christmas party and got way too drunk. Ended the night crying like a hungry baby while all of our friends watched. I was a complete jackass and I cringe every time I think about that night. – Sludgerunner

4. LOL No Girls Can Relate

A couple times, really. Apparently asking her to communicate more and to be more open with me makes me a wacko. – GustavoM

5. Saved Him From Himself

Not crazy per se, but after months of a very very long, drawn out breakup, she blocked me. I freaked out and Googled her dad’s name (he’s a big pooba in her hometown) on a whim and easily found her home address despite never having been there or her telling me. I was about to send her some stuff and a letter or two when I realized just how weird that would be to do that. – komnenos

READ ALSO: Emmalyn Wrote a Song About Her New BF Having a Bigger Dick Than Her Ex

6. Sounds Like You’re Trying To Blame The Girl!

After we broke up because she was so jealous and afraid I was going to sleep with her friends, I immediately started dating her housemate.

In my defense, I had no idea that girl was her housemate, and it turned out said girl was actually hiding that fact from me and only dating me to ‘win’ some weird competition she was having with my ex (without said ex knowing about it). But my ex didn’t know the reason, and hated me for it. – JaronK

7. Peeping Tom

After a breakup in February, I texted my ex on a Friday night to see if she was free and she said she had stuff to do. I proceeded to go to her house anyway…I got to her place at about 11:30 p.m. [and left at] about 1 a.m. Her sister drove up and parked her car and almost saw me. After that I drove off thinking (rightfully so) they would think I’m some kind of psycho. I still think she might have seen me, but didn’t say anything. – Psyclops81

Last night, Galore invited all our favorite it-girls to the Rosy Oyster at the Hollywood Roosevelt Hotel in celebration of our latest cover star Jesse Jo Stark. The Stillhouse Whiskey was flowing and the tunes were top-notch thanks to DJ Jada, DJ Graves, and an amaze performance by Jesse Jo herself. Check out these badass babes’ looks from last night and hear their thoughts on the power of feminism and music.

Jesse Jo’s performance was STUNNING. She played 3 tracks and everyone kinda melted.

“What music means to me is universal love. Everyone around the world can listen to music and feels the same way.” -Grace McKagan

DJ Jada @jadab0o

“Being a boss babe to me is being super dope and proud.” -Elisa Johnson 

“Music is everything to me. It’s the only language that doesn’t get miscommunicated.” Jack Brenn (right) & Caroline Bently from V2Bentley (left)

“Being a boss bitch is dressing however you want and not giving a fuck about anybody.” -Alexis Kenzie (right) & Liza Blake (left)

Naressa Valdez

Joy Corrigan & Rachel Vallori

Jaira Burns

Chuck Grant & sis Lana Del Rey

Don’t miss Jesse Jo’s new video for”April Flowers” directed by our fav Chuck Grant!

Check out our Editors in Chief Prince and Jacob’s photo diary below:

Thx Stillhouse!!

People have been buzzing about the new contour kit that was just released by Kim Kardashian West. From what I’ve heard there have been a bunch of mixed reviews about it. I decided to see what this kit had to offer and ordered it. I mean, it’s KKW, the queen of contour herself. It has to be at least okay, right?

It came in the mail early this week and of course I needed to play around with it. The packaging itself is pretty sleek, and super low-waste which I really appreciated.

Really all you get are three off-pink tubes. The first stick has the actual contour colors, on one side there’s a lighter shade, and on the other a darker shade.

The next tube is the highlight stick, on one side is a highlight with a matte finish, and on the other is a really subtle glowy and dewy highlight. And finally the third tube is a tool for the makeup. On the one side you have a super lightweight brush, and the other side is a pointed sponge. Like so:

READ ALSO: 6 celebs who made me feel better about my big nose

Pros

I had really high expectations for this kit, and I was not disappointed. I’m really into “no-makeup makeup” and that’s what I feel like you achieve with this kit. It makes your face look sculpted out and really thin, but it also makes you feel like you have a nakey face. I genuinely couldn’t believe how lightweight it was.

The product glides so smooth across your face, and is absolutely build-able when it comes to if you want it more intense or more chill vibes.

One aspect I thought was super helpful was the straight-up directions that came with this kit. If you’re a newb to the makeup scene this legit is a “dummy’s guide to contouring” kit.

One other positive I noticed was the shape of the tip on the sticks. They’re super fine and have a triangle shape to them which makes it super simple to put the product in tough corners, like your inner eye and nose.

READ ALSO: How social media destroyed my skin

Cons

Along with all the perks though there are always going to be negatives. What I didn’t really like about this kit was the dullness of the highlighter, and the sponge on the brush it came with.

I’m really into accentuating the “good” parts of my face. This highlighter does that, but it doesn’t give me the shine I crave. It more or less made me look like my face was sweaty/wet. Does it get the job done? Yes, but it’s not my fave look.

The second part about this kit that I wasn’t a fan of was the sponge on the brush given to you. The sponge is SUPER hard, it’s like trying to move product around on your face with a rock. I also really didn’t even like the brush it came with either… Sorry KKW baby.

If you’re like me this was an easy fix, I just whipped out my beauty blender. You can use brushes, silicone, or whatever you find to be easiest for you.

Key Takeaways…

I love this crème contour and highlighter duo personally. I like how she has four different shades, one for every skin tone. I chose the medium shade for the summer and was a fan of both colors on the contour stick. I get pretty tan in the summer so I would recommend medium for someone with an similar tone.

I think it’s definitely worth the $48. This is pretty much spot-on with other contour kits in Sephora, and it can be found HERE. If you’re really into an easy, light and natural looking contour this is your best bet!

READ ALSO: 8 Instagram beauty looks that would clearly never work IRL

Every bookworm babe has their genre of choice. Maybe your early obsession with Harry Potter made you a fantasy freak for life, or maybe you’re a sucker for a good murder-mystery.

I’ve read the Harry Potter series, and I used to steal my mom’s Mary Higgins Clark books in grade school, but ever since I stopped needing my mom to drive me to the library, I started becoming obsessed with a genre that I’ll call thotty memoirs.

Essentially, it’s a memoir (or an autobiography of sorts), where the girl talks heavily about her sexcapades – be that prostitution, stripping, or simply having sex with a lot of dudes who may or may not be rockstars.

READ ALSO: Guys Admit They Don’t “Forget To Text Back” If They’re Into You

You may assume these books are trashy, but many of them are super eye-opening, thought-provoking, and historical! They’re really not that different than reading the bio of any sleazy politician from history, that’s for sure.

Bonus: nowadays you can read a book on your Kindle, Nook, iPad, even your phone if you’re freaky like that. So if you don’t want to draw attention to yourself on the beach this summer with a hardcover copy of “Trust, Justice, & The American Whore,” you don’t have to.

But, seriously, read these books.

READ ALSO: The Signs As Annoying Drunk Party Friends

1. Sugar Babe

This was the book that opened my eyes to the very real prospect of being a sugar baby. Except this was before you could just hop on a website like Seeking Arrangement and browse through potential desperate rich dudes. The author of this memoir legit put out CraigsList ads for her “services.” Amazon reviewers complain about how the author clearly thinks she’s hot shit. But I mean, if you were getting paid to have sex with rich dudes, you’d probs feel hot too!

2. Loose Girl

I’ve read plenty of murder mysteries, but this book probably gave me more nightmares than any other. Maybe because it’s so relatable to any girl who’s ever wanted a guy’s attention (and let’s be real, we all have at some point), or maybe it’s because the author has no shame when recalling how she used to have sex with guys in hopes of keeping them interested (and we all know how that turns out). Either way, it’s a super fascinating and grounding read.

READ ALSO: How to Tell if a Guy’s Not Feeling it Anymore

3. Clothes, Clothes, Clothes, Music, Music, Music, Boys, Boys, Boys

This book is not centered around sex like some of the others on this list, but punk rocker Viv Albertine’s memoir stays true to its name and involves lots of boys. Famous boys, to be exact.

Viv recounts her rise from broke girl without a musical bone in her body to forming her own all-girl punk band, but along the way we get to hear about all her flings and hook-ups with rock stars like Mick Jones of The Clash. So essentially it’s girl power without pretending like boys aren’t good for sex – amazing.

4. Let’s Spend the Night Together: Backstage Secrets of Rock Muses and Supergroupies

Pamela Des Barres is the OG queen of groupies, and she’s written multiple books about her fun with band dudes. This compilation features not just her stories, but stories of other groupies who may not have been quite as famous or simply might have other later claims to fame – like Elvira, who once went on a date with Elvis. We’re obsessed.

5. Truth, Justice, & The American Whore

This isn’t exactly a memoir, instead it’s a compilation of sex worker Siouxsie Q’s pieces for her column in SF Weekly. The pieces read nicely together, and they range on topics from what it’s like shooting a porno, sex worker legislation, and open relationships.

6. Wonderful Tonight: George Harrison, Eric Clapton, and Me

What sounds equally as fun – if not more fun – than reading biographies on George Harrison and Eric Clapton? Reading the memoir of the girl who got wifed by both of them!

7. The Beaver Show

You can now get a signed and smooched copy of #TheBeaverShow and a surprise print from the #100DaysOfPleasantries series on jacqthestripper.com/shop @rkobane

A post shared by JACQ THE STRIPPER (@jacqthestripper) on Feb 20, 2016 at 10:34am PST

I think this book was the most insane page-turner I’ve read since I was eight and reading Harry Potter. Okay, well, maybe not that intense, but so fucking good. I cried a little when it was over because unlike Harry Potter, I don’t know when Jacq will write another book about what other crazy things are going on in her life. In summary, the book is about Jacq traveling the world as a stripper and the hilarity that ensues. She’s a hilarious writer and it’s a easy breezy read that you’ll whip through because it’s so damn entertaining.

8. Confessions of a Video Vixen

If you’re looking for a more modern groupie to tickle your reading fancy, try Karrine Steffans’ memoir on for size. She’s an iconic hip-hop groupie and (obviously) a video girl who worked with Jay-Z, R Kelly, and more. If you don’t recognize Karrine by name, perhaps you know her by her nickname – “Superhead.”

Margot Robbie is the kind of human who seems to be able to pull anything off.

From drinking a shower beer every day without gaining the freshman 15 to pulling off a surprise wedding to a boyfriend most people didn’t even know she had, some days it seems like there’s nothing Margot Robbie can’t do.

Including using chapped nipple cream as chapstick.

READ ALSO: How rich you’ll get based on your zodiac sign

In an interview with Elle UK, Margot revealed that for her lip balm she uses “Bepanthen, which is actually a nipple cream for breastfeeding mothers or diaper rash cream for babies.”

Go on, Margot. We’re listening.

“I have a conspiracy theory that lip balms actually have additives in them to dry your lips out so you keep buying them,” Margot continued. “But because Bepanthen is just a cream for dry skin, it works. It’s what I’ve used my whole life.”

Honestly, as crazy as it seems, I’m sure Margot’s nipple cream does wonders for her lips.

Back in college when I lived with a girl who grew up in the giant hippie and weirdo oasis known as Western Massachusetts, I was introduced to the healing properties of Bag Balm, a Vaseline-like salve originally created for chapped cow udders. Which is 10 times more gross than chapped human nipples.

Sure, the Bag Balm didn’t smell great, but man were my lips moist at all times!

READ ALSO: Kylie says her and Kendall’s smiles are totally fake in this photo

And would you believe Margot’s miracle chap stick is only $5 on Amazon?

I’m just saying, maybe it’s time you kicked your EOS to the curve.

If it’s get enough for Margot, let’s be real, it’s good enough for you.

[H/T Elle UK]

Sorry to break it to you, but whatever fourth of July outfit you have planned this year PALES in comparison to Jessica Simpson’s peak patriotic getup from her 2005 GQ cover.

Why?

Because I said so. Now drop and give me 50.

READ ALSO: Kris Jenner posted an detox tea ad on Instagram and everyone lost their sh*t

Now let’s unpack the evidence, shall we?

READ ALSO: How rich you’ll get based on your zodiac sign

Camo pants artfully unbuttoned in such a way to make them look thotty? Check.
Fashion dogtags that probably don’t even have anything written on them? Check.
The casual juxtaposition of war and peace in a single frame? Mhmmm yes, I see that symbolism!

And just when you think you’ve seen it all, you notice that Jessica’s wearing an American flag bikini with the stripes going THE WRONG FUCKING WAY?

I mean, what does that even say about our country?!

Well, in the words of Will Ferrell, “no one knows what it means, but it’s provocative.”

Only that’s not true in this case because Jessica’s flag bikini is actually about as provocative as that hipster your friend took home last week who has one million tattoos, but has parents who still pay the rent for his shitty loft.

The stripes are probably just going the wrong way so they look better on Jessica’s boobs.

But that’s part of what makes this outfit the most American thing ever. Because what’s more American than trying to make yourself look deeper and cooler than you really are, when in reality all you wanna do is make yourself look good?

So kudos, Jessica.

God bless America, or something.

If your style can be described as “every day is Halloween,” there’s a good chance you’ve got some witchy woman vibes going on.

Instagram witches have been a thing for a while, but if you’re more interested in witchy style inspo and less interested in potion recipes, we’ve got you covered.

Here are some enchanting Instagram accounts that you should def follow to add a little bit of black magic to your feed.

READ ALSO: Here’s an Emo Sex Playlist Because Sad People Still Bang

1. @moonchildhel

Summer is coming, so is this new look on the blog, although this outfit is not very summery . . . #nugoth #witchy #altgirl #alternativegirl #gothgirl #gothgoth #gothfashion #dark #wicca #babydoll #rogueandwolf #moonchild #witch #altfashion #darkfashion #ghostly #occult #moon #gothic #alternative #gothicgirl #witchcraft #gothicstyle #pagan #magic #hellaholics #witchesofinstagram #fblogger #witchywoman #allblack

A post shared by ℳᴏᴏɴᴄʜɪʟᴅ ℋᴇʟ (@moonchildhel) on Jun 8, 2017 at 11:13am PDT

If you’re looking for a modern day Morticia Addams, follow this chick’s page stat. She alternates between hawt shots of herself and moody pics of architecture and landscapes, dope goth shoes, and occult accessories.

READ ALSO: The Signs As Annoying Drunk Party Friends

2. @thebonewitch

~ Personal post ~ Really feeling hit hard by the universe right now especially. I know a series of unfortunate events is certainly nothing personal. However, Not only have I had to move houses twice this year already and am still looking for a place to live. There have also been some health issues that are still getting cleared up. Starving artist style living and trying to figure it all out. Regardless of those things, because life is real and happening for everyone always. . Last night my whole suite case of creations was stolen (in San Francisco). @cirkuswaggon42 had a suit case stolen also. So much hard work and time put into those creations, and what would hopefully be food in my belly is now out doing who knows what. I please ask that if you see anyone with our creations that is clearly not myself or Arielle (or a store we are associated with) attempting to sell our work, to let me know! Any kind of help is greatly appreciated. . I will eventually get beyond the point of loss and grief feelings. But for now all I can do is make more art. All I can think is to create from destruction, creation, death, life, ends, beginnings, change, transition, transformation. These are all one in the same creature, a being that can never be tamed. .. (Photo creds in comments) #water#witch#witchesofinstagram#occult#magic#dream#art#handmade#fashion#highfashion#model#modeling#mood#thebonewitch#altmodel#artist#patreon#ocean#dark#darkness#goth#nature#horns#costume#costumedesign#thirdeye#sun#blue#night

A post shared by The Bone Witch (@thebonewitch) on May 16, 2017 at 10:55am PDT

The bone witch’s Insta is kind of like if a witchy Tumblr migrated to Insta. The pics are super arty and filtered, it’s def NSFW (Insta hasn’t deleted any nips yet), and you’ll probs spend too many hours scrolling deep, deep down her feed.

3. @hannaohlssson

My new favorite hobby! ✌ Cross stitching! Maybe i’m getting old! . . Socks from @killstarco ♥ #killstarclothing #killstarco

A post shared by Hanna (@hannaohlssson) on Mar 26, 2017 at 10:39am PDT

It’s unclear if Hanna is actually a professional influencer, but if a witch was an influencer, this is how her page would look. Awesome outfit pics, ever-evolving hair, and perfectly staged shots of cute cross-stitching and socks.

4. @gabyherstik

This witch held her first nü moon circle with @kaerhart and it was delicious. I’m so grateful for all the souls who joined us tonight and graciously let me learn and fumble as we created our circle. Holding sacred space as we share our stories and hope for the coming moon is so powerful. Being a conscious witness for my loved ones and their dreams is one of my favorite things ⚡️My intention for this new moon is to continue to keep my heart open, to stop being so hard and down on myself and my work, and to remember that I am worthy and deserving of all the abundance and love the universe has to offer⚡️ Thank you @forgottenfeathervtg @ashlynvictoriastallings @lizmorgan @oh_momoko @alexyael and @kaerhart for being here tonight if you also set an intention this New Moon, feel free to share!

A post shared by Gabriela Lorraine (@gabyherstik) on May 25, 2017 at 11:55pm PDT

Gaby proves that witches don’t have to be goth. Her page is lighter and a little more “normal” than some of the others on here. But her Insta-bio says “Witch Carrie Bradshaw of LA,” so it must be legit.

5. @helgea88

. . . . . #tbt#2014#witchesofinstagram#witch #witchy#lunar#lunarcult #graveyard #cemetery#gothmodel #devilish #pentagramtattoo#pastelgoth#bruxas #gothstyle#gothfashion#witchfashion#bruxa #witchesofig#witchgirl#vampire #darkness#goth#gothic#peony #gothgirl #graveyard#Sweden #nugoth

A post shared by Helgea Hekatae (@helgea88) on Jun 8, 2017 at 7:24am PDT

Just look at this demon goddess shot and that’s all you really need to know.

6. @catinawitchhat

Neophyte Necromancer ⚰️ Cute Halloween jumpers in June? Why not it gets too hot in Australian October anyway! Today it rained alllllll day, and it’s meant to continue like that all week – so outfit pictures will have to be inside if there’s enough light Sending you guys lots of love to get through your day ✨ ___________________________ Jumper from @bannedapparel Shorts from @hm (actually a playsuit) Socks from @killstarco Boots from @currentmoodclothing (bought on @dollskill ) Lipstick is “teddy bear” from @limecrimemakeup Bag from @restyle.pl Dreads from @sepsiscrafts . . . . . . #goth #gothgoth #strega #stregafashion #witch #witchesofinstagram #gothic #allblackeverything #alternative #altfashion #altgirl #occult #darkmori #nugoth #dreads #silverhair #moonchild

A post shared by Alice Crowrunner (@catinawitchhat) on Jun 7, 2017 at 5:14am PDT

Alice understands that it’s never to early for Halloween apparel, which we can all appreciate.

7. @crystalleelucas

Keeper of light @moonsiren

A post shared by Crystal Lucas (@crystalleelucas) on May 9, 2017 at 6:22am PDT

Crystal’s Instagram is kind of like a horror film mixed with an editorial, but in the greatest way.

New experience: I was dating a real life “Baby Boy.”

If you’ve never seen the movie “Baby Boy,” it’s basically about a dude who refuses to grow up and do something with his life besides run up his mama phone bill, hang in the streets, and drink and smoke all day.

Once I started to get more serious with my life and career, I noticed that he didn’t want to change his life, he even admitted it. Excuse me, come again?? A grown man, still living in his grandmother’s crib, making minimum, and you don’t want to change that ONE DAY??? BRUH. I almost hollered!

Your significant other should be like your #1 fan, because that’s how I am. If I’m with you and you’re passionate about something, I’m with it, I don’t care if you want to make your own liquor, buy an ice cream truck, shit, start an edibles line (since you’re smoking every day anyway), I’m all in.

But rolling your eyes or changing the subject every time you want to discuss progressing in life is not supportive, and without that support, it can make you question how important you are in the relationship, and that’s why I had to bounce.

Because of this, I was called all types of bull; a gold digger, boujee, a hoe; you know, the usual. And even though it hurt, I’ve realized that a woman with a voice, with goals and dreams should never intimidate any man, and there are couples who’ve shown us that its possible to date a woman with ambition!

Here are a few real-life couples whose men are not afraid of their woman having a voice.

1. Jay Z and Beyoncé

A post shared by Beyoncé (@beyonce) on Oct 31, 2016 at 9:51pm PDT

Of course, Jayoncé. I mean, what more can I say? Have you seen the way Jay smiles when Bey gets an award? Everything.

2. Brangelina

Okay, so they’re splitting up.

But it wasn’t because of their careers, so they’re still a great example of a relationship being able to work with a boss betch.

Ms. Jolie is one of the most popular highest paid actresses and we’ve seen nothing but support from Brad for her career. They even made movies together… #Winning

READ ALSO: 8 women on the moment they knew their boo was holding them back

3. Jason Sudeikis and Olivia Wilde

#tbt with my ❤ way way waaaay back in the day. @unicornwrangler #feelslikeyesterday

A post shared by Olivia Wilde (@oliviawilde) on Jun 1, 2017 at 12:18pm PDT

According to Google, Liv has an estimated net worth of $12 million while Jason comes in at a close $10 million, and they look like thee most perf family.

4. Barack and Michelle Obama

Happy Anniversary.

A post shared by Barack Obama (@barackobama) on Oct 3, 2016 at 12:13pm PDT

Michelle was a top lawyer before she became the First Lady of the U.S., and while First Lady, she’s started numerous funds and organizations to help women and education, and who do you think her biggest supporter is? Yes, Mr. Obama, all day!

I just love the way he looks at her like daaaamn my bae BAD.

5. Kanye West and Kim Kardashian West

A post shared by Kim Kardashian West (@kimkardashian) on Apr 17, 2017 at 11:59am PDT

Kim is no doubt one of the most notorious but highest paid reality stars. Did that stop Ye from putting a RING on it?! Nope, and now they’re one of the most popular, richest couples of our time.

READ ALSO: The signs you’re not over your ex

6. Chrissy Teigen and John Legend

A post shared by chrissy teigen (@chrissyteigen) on Jun 6, 2017 at 9:51pm PDT

I live for them! Chrissy is so outspoken and blunt and John just smiles and loves it. Not to mention she’s a very popular model also, being on the cover of SI multiple times.

So see ladies, it can be done! Keep chasing those dreams betches, and find someone who’s on your level, and not still playing with toy soldiers.

Even if your aspirations go way beyond having sex on a shitty tour bus with someone with 1 million Instagram followers who will forget your name by tomorrow, almost every girl has at least one musician they’d groupie the fuck out for.

Maybe it’s that you love the music, maybe they just are really fucking hot writhing around the stage in their skinny jeans, or maybe you just need it for resume sex purposes.

Even if you’re in a loving relationship and aren’t about to ruin it by banging some faux-deep bro with an acoustic guitar, you probably wonder just how the hell that girl from your sorority managed to sleep with a grammy-winning rapper, right?

Well, here’s how to do it. And it’s actually way easier than you thought.

READ ALSO: Brittany Natale Went From Marketing Major to Art Curator

1. Wear something thotty

You have to accept the fact that no matter how great your personality is, any guy choosing who to invite backstage is basing his opinion on looks. This has nothing to do with bone structure or body types. Instead, you need a mix of 1. confidence and 2. style. Flaunt what you’ve got and don’t ever worry about looking “too slutty.”

That being said, you also don’t want to look like a noob or a dumbass. You want to look like a casual thot, not someone who confused the concert venue for an upscale night club. Don’t wear heels and don’t wear a cocktail dress. Go for some short-shorts and a crop top and boots, or even sneakers, and maybe a casual (but very slutty) dress.

READ ALSO: Emmalyn Wrote a Song About Her New BF Having a Bigger Dick Than Her Ex

2. If you don’t have a killer wing woman, roll solo

If you don’t have a friend who’s hot, of legal drinking age, and down with sketchy ass situations in search of dick – roll solo. Musicians can be as picky as they want when deciding who to invite back, and if your friend gets too drunk or is being a killjoy, they’re going to tell her to GTFO. If you go alone, you probably won’t be the only one who’s alone, and it’ll actually force you to make friends with people – people who probably have way better connections than you do.

3. Do not try to get to the front

Every amateur groupie’s dream is to get noticed by the lead singer while she’s standing in the crowd, then suddenly be invited on tour and become his live-in girlfriend. Unfortunately, that’s probably not going to happen unless you have no obligations/life and don’t mind sharing him with all the other groupies – not to mention that no normal celeb is picking out his future bae from a crowd of screaming fans.

If you make your way to the front, it means you’re a fan girl. It also means that it’s going to be difficult for him to get his minions to go out and talk to you about coming back after the show. When rappers put their hands out into the crowd, they can barely even see who’s grabbing their fingers. Save your breath and the possibility of getting sweaty by sticking to the outskirts of the crowd.

READ ALSO: How to Tell if a Guy’s Not Feeling it Anymore

4. Befriend the merch guy

Even if you’re lusting after an artist/band that’s not that famous and still does meet and greets, the merch guy is still going to be your #1 contact most likely. Trust me, once a rapper asked for my number and had me give it to his merch guy, then I waited up until 1 a.m. that night for him to never hit me up. The better bet is to go directly to the source instead of waiting around.

Forget the meet and greet and forget being “noticed” from the crowd. During the show (when there aren’t a lot of people by the merch tables) go over and talk to the merch dude. If you look hot (which you will if you followed the above tips), he’ll be interested – not to mention the fact that he’s probably bored af sitting there. Ask him what he’s getting up to after the show and I can almost guarantee you that you’ll get an invite to wherever the “after party” is – even if it’s just on the tour bus.

5. Play hard to get

Yes, you have to be a little bit assertive to get in with the merch guy, but when it comes to the actual famous dudes you should take a chill pill. Shockingly, most artists probs don’t want to hook up with their #1 fangirl – it’s creepy. Instead, act like you don’t know who the hell he is, seriously. It might be dated and “playing the game” – but it 100% works. There are going to be a million girls running up to the lead singer and begging him for attention – don’t be like them. Nothing is more tragic than watching a guy brush off a girl who’s clearly trying to get in his pants. Guys want what they can’t have!

READ ALSO: The Signs As Annoying Drunk Party Friends

6. Be down for whatever

Be a down ass bitch, okay? Don’t be asking a million questions about who’s going to be where you’re going, if they’re going to have your fave brand of vodka, etc. A lot of times the “after party” is not lit at all. Sometimes it’s hanging on a crowded af bus without your cell phone (someone will confiscate it) and then going back to a shitty hotel room at 3 a.m. Sometimes it’ s chilling with a case of Four Lokos while the artist literally lays on the floor and texts his girlfriend. Nobody really knows what’s going on and it’s a lot less glam than you’d expect. Just think of the good stories you’ll have either way and chill out.

7. Stay out late

The problem with guys in the music biz is that they don’t have a normal person’s schedule. They can sleep until noon tomorrow on the bus – unlike you, who probably has shit to do tomorrow. Chances are you’ll get back to the bus (or the hotel, or wherever) and there will be a shitload of people – or like, a shitload of people compared to the size of the bus.

If you want to hook up with the musician, you’re going to have to wait it out to get him alone and get him wanting to leave the party. Seriously, I’ve had artists come up to me and say “stick around, I want to talk to you later” and in my head I’m just like, “um, can we ‘talk’ now? I’ve got class tomorrow.” And then I leave at 2 am and the girls who stayed around until 5 am definitely had better stories to tell their friends the next day.

8. Keep in touch 

Even if you don’t get the hook-up story you hoped for, there’s always next time. If you were a good time, the merch dude (or whoever you gave your number to) will want to invite you to hang with them next time they’re in your city. Make sure he puts your name as “Sara Philly” in your phone and texts you next time they’re rolling through. Shoot him a text the next day and say something like “so nice to meet you last night, text me next time you’re in town!” Sure, he might not be the one you want to get with, but there’s no harm in making him think he is!

In honor of our nation getting its independence from its overbearing British parents who def wouldn’t approve of all the bikini pics on Insta, here are the most iconic American flag bikinis of all time.

And by all time we mean the last couple of decades because bikinis weren’t even widely popular in the United States until the 1960s.

Merry America day, fam.

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Mariah Carey

Gotta be Pon de water for the Fourth of July! Can’t wait for the NBC special, it’s going to be festivity! #NBCJuly4 pic.twitter.com/b5AxALPToD

— Mariah Carey (@MariahCarey) July 2, 2013

Does it get much better than Mariah Carey on a yacht in an American flag print bikini?

No, no it doesn’t.

Welcome to the good life.

Lady Gaga

I think we can all agree that “Telephone” is one of Lady Gaga’s best videos. And this strapless, Wonder Woman-esque American flag bikini inspired a new generation of humans to actually want to dress up for the 4th of July next year.

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Janet Jackson

It’s eensy, it’s teensy, but honestly who can even look at the bikini because those abs are everything.

Courtney Stodden

Be young. Be dope. Be proud. Like an American #picoftheday

A post shared by Courtney A Stodden (@courtneyastodden) on Nov 6, 2016 at 1:10pm PST

Bikinis: they’re not just for showing off your boobs.

Gisele

This isn’t the most traditional American flag bikini, but that’s part of what makes it so iconic.

Also it’s Gisele.

She could make a pair of cargo shorts iconic if she really wanted to.

Katy Weaver

@katyweaver ❤️❤️❤️

A post shared by Miley Cyrus (@mileycyrus) on Jul 4, 2015 at 3:15pm PDT

Now I know it’s a stretch to call Katy Weaver a celebrity, but her t-shirt American flag bikini is a classic.

These kinds of shirts are iconic corny beachwear, and while you probably don’t own one because let’s be real, it doesn’t change the fact that beach body boxy t-shirts are an American staple.

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Michelle Williams and Kirsten Dunst

Now technically these red, white & blue getups from Michelle and Kirsten aren’t bikinis, but these tops could be bikini tops. And they’re cute af.

Yes, they look like something a teenage child would wear, but hey, we were all teenage children once. Unless you’re a cyborg in which case, please don’t kill me. I have so much left to live for.

Alyson Hannigan, Tara Reid, Shannon Elizabeth and Mena Suvari

And now … four way
– Alyson Hannigan – 0-2-0
– Tara Reid – Debut
– Shannon Elizabeth – 0-1-0
– Mena Suvari – Debut pic.twitter.com/vKaLuukJfl

— Foxy Fights (@FoxyIndex) May 29, 2016

These were some of the most bodacious babes of the early 2000s and here they all are putting their own unique twist on the classic American bikini.

Jessica Simpson

It’s hard to choose what the best part of this photo is.

The fact that Jessica Simpson used to be on magazine covers or the casual juxtaposition of love and war as symbolized by her thotty camo pants and her peace sign.

Cindy Crawford

@CNN you missed @CindyCrawford in an American flag bikini. pic.twitter.com/LQzL8AFhy1

— The Rickety Wheel (@DanRotella) July 5, 2014

Sometimes the most simple American flag bikinis have the most dramatic impact.

I’ve always viewed and treated reality television like fables.

You remember, those fictional stories from childhood where there’s always some kind of moral lesson at the end? Think “The Tortoise and the Hare” but instead of the tortoise beating the hare in the race, she outsells the hare’s rival booty workout tape on Amazon and just got a milli in her divorce settlement, fab.

Beyond being pure entertainment, what was once a guilty pleasure has now turned into an education. A wise man learns from the mistakes of others, and reality tv is a treasure trove of lessons and mistakes, all for our viewing delight.

If you think about it, there is plenty to learn from reality shows and their stars.  I’m telling you we do not take advantage of this free education, so here are some lessons from reality tv that I keep in my thoughts and prayers as I try and navigate life with the ease, class, and sophistication of a reality star.

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1. Beware Lunches

If someone invites you to lunch, brace yourself. You never know who or what kind of shit is going to pop-up at the lunch table, so always be prepared for a ponderosa and bring receipts. Dinner parties are a whole different topic, don’t even get me started on brunch…

2. If You Have Drama That Needs To Be Resolved Privately, Do It Publicly

I can’t even say what I would have done if this happened to me —- The Real Housewives of Atlanta: Roger Bob ________ Follow @therealitytvnetwork for more videos and DM for promo rates

A post shared by Classic Reality TV Moments: (@therealitytvnetwork) on Jun 25, 2017 at 8:54pm PDT

Throw a party and drunkenly call people out on the mic. “But I don’t have a mic…” shhh, that doesn’t matter, enunciate.

The larger the audience, the bigger the impact, and the more likely things will be resolved peacefully.

3. Always Have A Speech Ready

The “haters” in your life that may doubt how good and humble a person you are, so it’s best to remind them through an all-encompassing speech.

Shade required, or else what was even the point? Best to sneak it in during a toast, an apology, or if no one’s paying attention to you just change the subject completely and redirect the energy towards you.

4. Showing Up Places You’re Not Invited To Is Like Totally Ok

Fashionably late is classic, not showing up at all is dramatic, so can you imagine the excitement of making an uninvited entrance. Exactly.

Note: this would be an excellent time to have that speech ready and prepared.

5. Gyms Are An Illusion

Gyms are just a place to get overpriced juice, gossip while while lying on a yoga ball, and take Boomerangs that make it appear you put in that work.

Thanks to waist trainers and that fit tea Instamodels are selling, the gym is merely a location tag. Use it as an errand stop on the way to lunch, happy hour, etc.

Tip: if someone asks about your routine just stick to the phrase, “Well I like, alternate leg and arm days, but right now I’m just so into yogalates,” then flip your hair. If you don’t have enough hair to flip just pretend, have you learned nothing.

READ ALSO: Why detox teas can make birth control ineffective

6. Situational Dressing

Beyond packing pre-coordinated outfits, the situation in “situational dressing” roughly translates to “dress for the mess I am to create while considering all the elements.”

Will there be a dancefloor? Will I want to take my shoes off? Will I have to confront this bitch that I heard secondhand from a third party she was talking about my friend?

If all these things are possibilities for the evening, you may want to avoid an outfit that is prone to freeing the nipple and pair it with earrings that are easy to slip off.

7. Always Have Something To Drink Handy.

How else are you supposed to “sip tea”?

Beverages are perfect for avoiding questions, topics, and creating an overall shady sense of vagueness about your character. To be used in moments to emphasize points that were made, or points that we’re not even made at all.

Make the sip long for extra suspense and mess. Note: doesn’t have to actually be “tea” you sip on, any liquid that is safe for human consumption will do.

8. Fake It Till You Make It

It’s all about perception. There’s nothing more ego boosting and humbling in the same moment as seeing someone on TV wearing the same pair of 50% off H&M earrings as you.

You gotta stay ready, I’m talking outfit, hair, make-up all on point even if it’s just for a brisk walk to your local coffee shop. If you really wanna level up, “hire” your BFF to do your make-up and film it for your IG story, they get a MUA promo and you get to look important enough to even have a MUA.

Could also be applied to stylists and personal trainers (but what’s the point because see #5).

It seems that every hair length that doesn’t at least touch a woman’s shoulders is considered radical. Time after time I’ve been in the graceful presence of just the most open-minded men of our generation (ha) who automatically interpret short hair as warning sign.

People assume there’s a correlation between hair length and sexuality for women. People assume that if your hair’s short, you’re gay. Or if it’s short and you’re middle-aged, you’re pretty much asexual.

Men and even women are so quick to extrapolate meaning from haircuts such as bobs, pixies, fades, shags, buzzes, crops and even an asymmetrical haircut on a woman, when a lot of the time, it’s just about aesthetics.

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Short hair has been a major statement throughout fashion history. A few examples just off the top of my head are Janelle Monae who walked the red carpet in 2017 with a proud and elegant pixie cut. Or how could we forget when Gwyneth Paltrow and Brad Pitt decided to both rock a asymmetrical bob on the red carpet in 1997?

Twiggy in 1966 was famous for her strawberry blonde shag cut, which became an instant phenomenon. And then there’s the woman who gave these haircuts a face, Audrey Hepburn in 1953 with her whimsical pixie cut in “Roman Holiday.”

I decided to get opinions from both sides of the spectrum, so I asked women with straight hair — some of whom are straight and some of whom are gay or bi. I wanted to ask what their hair means to them, why they decided it was right for them, if it’s ever been misinterpreted, and if it has how did they take it?

1. “My professor assumed I was gay and asked me about it”

Lucy, a 21-year-old student, was in office hours with her professor discussing a final project when he randomly turned to her and said, “As a gay woman on campus, do you feel you’ve been given the proper resources?” Caught off guard by the remark, because she doesn’t necessarily use labels, she walked out of the office.

“I don’t know who or even what I’ll end up with, if I get married if I don’t, maybe it’s a man, maybe it’s a woman, I don’t know yet but it was ethically wrong for him to just classify me as something when he doesn’t know anything about me besides my exterior,” says Lucy.

I then asked her why she went for a bold cut in the first place, and if it meant anything to her.

“I literally dyed my hair and I wanted to regrow it but I played sports and I was going to Europe for the summer so my mom was like, ‘You should cut it, it would look cute short,’ so I showed my hairstylist a bunch of pics of Ruby Rose and Emma Watson and here we are,” Lucy said. “I also was transferring to arts school and just didn’t give a fuck anymore.”

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2. “Men avoid me like the plague”

Jess is a college student with a longer, more asymmetric pixie cut who has had her fair share of hair trolls throughout her experience.

“I’ve had straight men tell me that they assumed I’m gay because of my haircut,” Jess said. “It does bother me a little because I’m bi and it narrows my chances, but also if a guy is gonna assume I’m gay because of my hair then I don’t want to fuck him anyway. So the guys I do fuck are more quality now, which I guess is a benefit.”

Get it girl, we always want quality over quantity anyway. Jess always liked the idea of short hair, more so for convenience, the look and the versatility of it.

“I thought fades were sick and always just wanted to try it out,” she said. “It also felt like a test kind of. Like could I do it? Could I step outside of the typical ‘feminine’ box and still be myself?”

The answer is yes, and it filters out assholes, too. Win/win.

3. “I’m glad people usually know I’m gay right off the bat”

Giovanna is a student at Fordham University who has a shaggier, messier pixie cut. She tells me that it used to bother her when people assumed her sexuality based off of something as arbitrary as a haircut, but it doesn’t anymore.

“As I got older I realized that the only reason I was taking offense to it was because being straight was ‘normal.’ Why can’t I have short hair and still be normal?” she said. “But that mindset was quickly altered, and what I’m all about is breaking that normative standard that takes heterosexuality as the given.”

“Who I am should be just as normal as anything else and it’s actually kinda nice when I can see that someone isn’t even thinking twice and just knows that I’m gay,” she added, “because it means that they take both as being two different sets of normal.”

Giovanna knows of gay women who do cut their hair to signify their sexual orientation, but she also knows ton of women with short hair that are straight who are probably annoyed that people label them a certain way just because they like having short hair.

READ ALSO: What it’s like to play a white supremacist on TV post-Trump

The key item to take away from this is that everyone is different. Not one person rocks a haircut for the same reason as someone else (besides Gwyneth and Brad, who were united in a quest for publicity).

And no one’s true identity is worn on their sleeve. Making assumptions can put you in a tough/awk spot. Play it safe and don’t make assumptions about people.

Peggy Gou is a former fashion journalist whose first love is music — and now she’s a DJ who’s getting all of Europe addicted to her sound.

She established herself as a fashion journalist while she was in college in London. Soon, she started to produce demos from her laptop and DJ. Now, she is based in Berlin.

We chatted about why you don’t need to be a big name to get a gig, genderless labels and her go-to spots to find old music.

You are from South Korea, but you came to London when you were a teenager. What was it like for you to move to a different country?

If I think about it, I think it was a great thing to do when you’re 14. I had to live with a guardian [who] was very strict. I had to live there for one reason: to study English. There was no Korean student in my school.

You started out as a journalist, then you switched to music. How did you discover DJing and what difference has it made in your life?

When I came to London, I DJed for two to three years. I met this crew who was throwing parties, so I started doing regular parties every Thursday. Luckily, I met another guy who works in Ableton through one of those parties. I had to concentrate on music more than two years ago. This is what I am now.

It’s good to learn to network at parties. Honestly, it’s not easy because so many people stick with their friends at parties.

Throwing a party is not easy because sometimes, you have fun with guests and fun without guests. Through that party, I learned so much because being a DJ, it should be a good platform [whether] the club is full or not full.

A lot of DJs I see out there in the charts are dominated by men. Do you feel that kinda annoys you?

You know what… people understand what females and males do, but to talk about that, there’s no point. I don’t like when people call [someone a] female DJ or a male DJ. We’re past the gender issue. I always believe in myself; I’ve always been independent. If a man can do it, a woman can do it, too. I don’t compare myself or give an excuse to myself. It seems like the world is still surprised when a female DJ is making music. In the end, it’s about music. It’s not about the female [identity] or the look.

Do you get nervous very easily?

I always feel butterflies at every gig that I do. It used to be 50 percent nervous, 50 percent exciting. Now, it’s 20 percent nervous and 80 percent more exciting. My aim is to never lose the butterflies because I don’t want to lose this feeling. As soon as you lose this, you don’t really care.

So, what parts of music really bores you the most?

When the music doesn’t have a groove and soul [laughs]. My music always has to have a groove and soul inside. If I listen to music that doesn’t really have a groove or soul, that bores me. I’m quite picky with music that I like.

No wonder your music is so addictive!

That’s so nice of you. I’m very open to criticism because that makes me improve more. When I make music, I send it to many producers for feedback. Some people gave me really honest feedback, some people were surprised. Some people didn’t like it. [But] I got a lot of good feedback.

For every DJ, there’s got to be good spots to find old records. Where are your go-to stores?

I’d say Discog ‘cause you can find everything there; it’s my bible. Every time I go to a new city or places like Italy, Japan or even Korea, I always ask [a club promoter] if they [know] a local secondhand record store. In Singapore, I went to a big warehouse.

If you have to move out of your apartment and you are unable to keep your entire record stash, which one will you save?

Oh my god! That’s a really hard question. I would probably give up my clothes, but I would not give up my records [laughs].

What do you look forward to when you’re in NYC?

I love New York. I was there in March. This time, I’m looking forward to it because I also know the HYTE guys — they’re super amazing — and the line up is really dope! I cannot wait to play this.

Photography by Ana Rosas

Yeah, you read that headline right.

This CEO was fired from her own company that she built from the ground up, allegedly by her former business partner. What’s so dope about her story is that she bounced back and not only bought her company back, but made sure it flourished and made a mint at the same dame time.

Mary Seats is a former musician who’s toured with huge artists, graduated from Kent State University, and now heads up Cupcake Mafia, a brand that’s sold in stores all over the country.

If you’re trying to figure out how the hell Mary Seats did it, check out our Q+A below.

JESUS SAVES I SPEND…. (tag your shopping buddy)

A post shared by Cupcake Mafia T’s (@cupcakemafia) on May 27, 2017 at 3:49pm PDT

Who are some of the major artists you toured with and why did you end your music career? Are you still somehow in the industry?

I toured with Gucci Mane, Wyclef Jean, Lil Wayne, Travis Porter, Trina and many others.

When I became a head stylist at Topshop, along with working with different cultures, it just caused me to lose my passion for music and really grow my fashion career. When I graduated from college I had the opportunity to go on a huge U.K. Tour and I took that money and invested in a boutique partnership. This gave me no time to pursue music and then Cupcake Mafia was birthed.

How would you describe your journey of becoming a business owner?

I would describe my journey as an uphill battle with high heels. With my boutique I came off of tour and had enough to pay cash for a new Range Rover that I was customizing to be pink in the  inside and outside. My dad gave me a reality check very fast and told me that I should pay off my student loans or start a business.

There was a guy who use to always give me clothing for my tours for promotion so I asked him could I partner with him on a store and after I passed a few tests, he said yes.

What I noticed at that store is that ladies were purchasing all of our men’s streetwear. This gave me an idea to create a brand that would make streetwear look cool for girls. The lane was wide open. “Married To The Mob” and “Dime Piece LA” were the only brands popular and neither brand really was known in the South or Midwest.

I took $300 and created Cupcake Mafia, a relatable brand to females everywhere. I addressed issues that all females had while using the likeness of some celebrities to draw in the consumer.

We all have felt heartbreak, haters, success, and we all have a love of money! My most popular shirts consist of these subjects.

As an entrepreneur you will always face many challenges but successful people never make excuses, they find solutions. I attribute a lot of my success to having amazing relationships. I strongly believe your network is your net worth. Building relationships are much more important than building wealth because with great relationships and the right people, wealth will come.

My journey has also been very exciting because my company is all about girl power so to be able to employ 24 girls and help them accomplish their dreams is what keeps me grinding.

Starting your company off with $300, where did your money go and how did you initially turn over a profit?

My first $300 went to 30 shirts, a logo, and one design. I flipped that by selling 20 shirts and giving 10 away to celebrities, and people with influence I knew.

Within three weeks Tiny wore a Cupcake Mafia shirt on TV and our website was moving about 20 shirts per day. We then took that money and started to do events.

I began to see a profit my second year. I would have made a profit my first year but I never planned anything so it caused me to spend more than I made the first year just trying to build the brand up.

How does Cupcake Mafia empower women? 

I feel like Cupcake Mafia unites women by starting unique conversations between females about various situations.

If someone posts a shirt that says “FVCKHIM,” other girls that can relate to this shirt will comment and follow, and a conversation will start between two people that have this common interest.

Our brand has always been witty with funny but real phrases that strike serious emotion. We have created a cult following of girls that are diehard fans because of our message of Girl Power. We make shirts saying what most girls may be scared to say, but will feel better wearing.

We have worked with tons of female artists [who] typically would have never worked together like  Trina, K Michelle, Honey Cocaine and many more. We want to help other girls feel confident about themselves and their feelings. We curate weekly events in our stores that sell out and most girls leave being friends or associates. It’s like a big mob.

What are some challenges that you faced during your journey creating this brand?

The biggest challenge a brand will face that starts ground up is having no capital. Most small businesses have the ideas, the team, but once you grow your brand to a certain point its hard to find capital. With amazing connections and with my buyers and customers believing in my brand, I was able to grow it to $1.4 million.

However, when different growth opportunities approached me in order to fulfill those type of orders I would need overseas production, and a partner that can facilitate that type of order. In business you are only good as what you negotiate. So although I believed at that time that finding a partner was the solution I needed, it caused me to rush into the wrong opportunity. Of course in everything you do there will be challenges but I believe that is the biggest challenge.

How were you fired from your own company? And how did you buy it back?

That rushed  business partnership that I signed into in 2015 led me into a whirlwind of unhappiness.

[We had a high-profile collaboration on the table but] our partners were greedy and wanted to milk the fashion industry in every way. However, my company is built on relationships and morals. I have never been so greedy for money that I would ruin a good relationship.

We began to argue daily about it and one day they called me into the office and said “You are no longer needed at Cupcake Mafia.” I gave up my beautiful condo in Atlanta, downsized my staff, had my friends/employees move to New York to chase this dream they sold us, but within a blink of an eye it was all over.

I moved back to Atlanta, partnered with the best apparel lawyer in the business, Peter Rosenthal, and we went to war. After six months of going back and forth, me opening up another retail store with the license at the time I did not own, I just wanted to make them move faster and let them know I was not backing down.

It was at that time they were finally willing to negotiate. I purchased my brand back from them for much more than they invested in the partnership but I was just happy to not let my team down and get the ship back moving. From there I went to purchase my own factory in China, to eliminate the middle man. [There are] so many great things I learned from that partnership and I believe God put me through that so I can teach others.

Since your business focuses on women’s empowerment, why is this so important to you as a business owner?

I grew up with pretty much all brothers. My sister committed suicide my senior year of high school. In school it was all about competition with the girls while the boys are collaborating and getting things done.

That was the same with female music artists, I would sit in so many music sessions with Shawty Lo, Gucci Mane, 2 Chainz and watch them collab on a hit record meanwhile it was no girl power with the female artists. I believe that was in me at a young age, I just have always wanted to see another girl win. It makes my success feel greater to say I attributed to another girl’s success. It’s amazing to say I helped her skip some steps to success.

What has been the most useful tool or outlet that you’ve used to keep your business flourishing?

Networking, building relationships, and keeping your word. Honestly, social media is cool and all and it has been a great free source of marketing.

However, it’s nothing like building a relationship with a buyer [for a big brand], and when your collection is late and you are holding a $50,000 late purchase order in your hand, you can call them and they will extend it.

It’s nothing like getting a cease and desist [from a company, but having a friend there] to make it go away. The last thing is whatever you say, do it. That will separate you from the next. There are plenty of things I promised customers and probably didn’t make the best profit margin on it but I delivered anyway because that’s my word.

What are three tips you would offer to aspiring entrepreneurs?

Get the idea and plan it out. Don’t just start making money, because I’m telling you, the money goes so fast. Don’t do anything you are not passionate about, there will be plenty of sleepless nights where you have zero dollars in your bank account. Only passion will wake you up the next morning.

Sell a lifestyle more than you sell a product. Make sure that people understand why this product is important to them.

What do you want your followers to take from this interview? What is the overall takeaway from your story? 

My overall takeaway is that you can start off on one path, mine was music, and God may take you in a different direction but it will still lead to success.

I started over seven years ago with $300 and today I have grossed $2.4 million. I have been fired from my own company only to purchase it back and build an even stronger empire!

If you are starting a company you have to make sure you are so passionate that you still want to wake up and do it even with $0 in your bank account.  I had plenty of days of struggle but it was my mission to change the mindset of women all over that has gotten me this far today.

By now, there are a million elite dating apps – from Raya to The League to Tinder Select.

They’re marketed as the dating app option for hot, cool people with money, a way to get rid of all the losers messaging you “what’s up sexy” from their mom’s basement. For men, it’s sold as a way to avoid the ever-feared gold diggers (insert eyeroll here) without compromising their hopes for a super model doppelganger.

But if you’ve been on an elite dating app before, you’ve probably felt a little gipped. You know, like when you wait in line to get into an awesome club only to find it overwhelmingly empty, smelly, and boring?

That’s because elite dating apps aren’t all they’re cracked up to be. Take it from Jasmine Diaz, an LA based matchmaker who says to swipe left on any “exclusive” dating app. Here’s why.

READ ALSO: How to tell a guy’s a loser from his phone – without snooping

All the guys are too cocky

One thing a friend of mine has noticed is that Raya guys definitely are different from the desperate dudes of Tinder, but not necessarily in a good way. She’d get excited about matching with some D-list celebrity (as we all would), she’d wait for them to message her, and then after a few days of hearing nothing, she’d drunkenly initiate a convo.

You’d think that if a semi-celeb chose to match with a girl in the first place, he’d at least respond if he wasn’t going to message her first – but he didn’t. And this happened with two guys!

I know every guy reading this is going to be like, “this is exactly what girls do to me on Tinder,” and they might not be wrong. But if you don’t want to deal with that, don’t bother with elite dating apps.

READ ALSO: Guys Who Say They Love Sundresses Don’t Actually Know WTF They Are

They can’t filter out douchebags – far from it

Elite dating apps may be able to find conventionally good looking people with good jobs and fat paychecks, but it can’t filter out people who consistently ghost, or people who are bad in bed, or people who are emotionally abusive.

You might spend less time swiping to find a guy who’s hot, but you’ll spend just as much time dealing with assholes, fuckboys, and more. In fact, I’d argue that any guy who thinks he deserves to be on an elite dating app has built-in douchebag characteristics, so you’ll probably find even more finance bro types on “hard to get into” apps.

You become your résumé

People argue that dating apps suck because they’re very superficial. On many, you’re only judging people on their looks. Which yeah, is shallow, but so is dating IRL.

The problem with elite dating apps is they’re shallow about more than looks. Like, you may pass by some ugly guy on Tinder Select, but when you see that his job is listed as “Director of Sales at Louis Vuitton” you might entertain the idea of one date in hopes of an LV friends and family discount code.

Don’t scream gold digger at me, it’s just a natural thought anyone would have. I’m just saying, you might waste your time with people that you don’t even find attractive in the first place because they have a cool job or went to an ivy league.

“Dating apps in general kind of make you your résumé,” says Jasmine. “I’m this tall, this is what I look like, this is what I do for a living. This is my car, my profile picture, so you know that I can afford that.”

And it ratchets up even more with elite apps.

“The problem with [elite apps] is people feed into that nature of status,” says Jasmine. “And the status component is mostly what these people are trying to avoid. They’re not looking for people who have large Instagram followers. They just want a little sense of normalcy in their dating experiences, so I don’t think it’s a really great avenue for that if you are someone who is saying, ‘I’m just looking for someone who likes me for me.'”

READ ALSO: Guys Admit They Don’t “Forget To Text Back” If They’re Into You

This is a good point. And if a guy is looking for a girl who wants him for his fancy cars or bank account, it means that he probably is a shit head with nothing else to offer! Not to mention he thinks women can be bought!

You probably already have “dating app PTSD”

Chances are, if you’ve felt the need to apply to an elite dating app, you’ve already tried a more average dating app like Tinder or Bumble. Nothing wrong with trying out different apps, but unfortunately, the results are probably going to be the same. Plus, there’s a good chance you’re already exhausted from your time on Tinder and you’d actually benefit from deleting all dating apps completely rather than downloading a new one in search of finding bae this time around.

READ ALSO: Here’s How Many of Your Guy Friends Want To Sleep With You

Tons of studies have shown that using dating apps can actually make you more lonely. Maybe instead of needing a more exclusive dating app pool, you just need a break.

It’s still all the same people

Speaking of dating PTSD, you’re not the only one who has it. In fact, if you’re turning to Raya after being bored of Tinder, you’re def not alone. Chances are, once you get accepted to whatever “elite” app you’ve chosen, you’re going to swipe around and see a bunch of familiar faces.

“It’s the same people going to these new apps because they’re realizing they’re not finding something on Bumble, so they’re going to Tinder Select and finding the same people and having the same problem,” says Jasmine. “It’s almost like recycling singles.”

She’s right, the “niche” apps aren’t really that much better than the standard ones, except in a few cases.

“What I like about Bumble is that it’s for women really,” says Jasmine. “The power is in females’ hands and allows her to choose and make the first move as opposed to waiting for a gentleman to do all of the moving. I think for someone who is used to being in charge and likes having the power, a service like that would be really great.”

There’s no wrong way to celebrate a holiday, especially one as nebulous as the Fourth of July.

Yes, its purpose is to commemorate the anniversary of a bunch of old white dudes announcing their independence from a whole other bunch of old white dudes, but it’s also about celebrating what it means to be American.

And when it comes to Instagram, there’s nothing more American than putting on your hottest outfit and striking a pose that makes your tits look so good they could inspire strangers to go to their plastic surgeon, show them that picture and say, “make me look like that.”

Unsurprisingly then, this was how a lot of celebrities chose to publicly celebrate the 4th.

READ ALSO: The most iconic American flag bikinis of all time

Kendall Jenner

A post shared by Kendall (@kendalljenner) on Jul 4, 2017 at 7:00am PDT

This picture has absolutely nothing to do with the 4th of July, and Khloe couldn’t help but call her younger sister out for that commenting, “so patriotic.”

When Khloe throws shade at Kendall tho pic.twitter.com/h1q75dnwyt

— Mr Jamie D (@MrJamieD) July 4, 2017

Xtina

As the mother of all fuckgirls, Christina didn’t just post one thirst trap, she posted four.

A post shared by Christina Aguilera (@xtina) on Jul 4, 2017 at 11:56am PDT

A post shared by Christina Aguilera (@xtina) on Jul 4, 2017 at 12:00pm PDT

A post shared by Christina Aguilera (@xtina) on Jul 4, 2017 at 12:02pm PDT

Have fun and be safe everyone!!

A post shared by Christina Aguilera (@xtina) on Jul 4, 2017 at 12:04pm PDT

READ ALSO: 12 lyrics that prove Christina Aguilera was the biggest fuckgirl in pop

Yolanda Hadid

Yolanda stretched the rules and posted a thirst trap of her daughter Gigi.

❤️Happy 4th of July from our family to yours…… #IndependenceDay #America by @carineroitfeld

A post shared by YOLANDA (@yolanda.hadid) on Jul 4, 2017 at 6:50am PDT

Lupita Nyong’o

Even Oscar winners aren’t immune to the allure of a good thirst trap.

Fourth #TotallyCandidPhoto

A post shared by Lupita Nyong’o (@lupitanyongo) on Jul 4, 2017 at 7:55pm PDT

Hailey Baldwin

What else is the sexiest woman in America supposed to do?

Happy 4th!

A post shared by Hailey Baldwin (@haileybaldwin) on Jul 4, 2017 at 11:19am PDT

READ ALSO: Hailey Baldwin beat out every other celeb to become the hottest woman in Hollywood

Alessandra Ambrosio

Booty-full.

Happy 4th of July ! #independenceday #4thofjuly Photography by @russelljames

A post shared by Alessandra Ambrosio (@alessandraambrosio) on Jul 4, 2017 at 5:25am PDT

Nicki Minaj

Just because you don’t strip down to your underwear doesn’t mean you can’t make your patriotic outfit thotty af.

Happy 4th of July

A post shared by Nicki Minaj (@nickiminaj) on Jul 4, 2017 at 10:42am PDT

Ryan Lochte

Boys can strip down too!

Happy 4th!!!

A post shared by Ryanlochte (@ryanlochte) on Jul 4, 2017 at 10:16am PDT

January Jones

Random, but OK girl. Feel your oats.

Happy Birthday America!! #sparklers

A post shared by January Jones (@januaryjones) on Jul 4, 2017 at 10:10am PDT

A post shared by January Jones (@januaryjones) on Jul 4, 2017 at 11:29am PDT

What’s more American than hosing down the yard, beer in hand in your flag pants?? Answer:

A post shared by January Jones (@januaryjones) on Jul 4, 2017 at 4:12pm PDT

Jessica Simpson

We’ve gone on record on saying this photoshoot might be the most American thing ever, and we stand by that.

Happy Birthday America #ProudToBeAnAmerican

A post shared by Jessica Simpson (@jessicasimpson) on Jul 4, 2017 at 12:44pm PDT

READ ALSO: It doesn’t get more American than Jessica Simpson’s insane TBT GQ Cover

Ashley Tisdale

No shame in her game.

It’s a party in the USA

A post shared by Ashley Tisdale (@ashleytisdale) on Jul 4, 2017 at 2:12pm PDT

When it comes to dating, guys love to label girls as the “dramatic” counterpart of the relationships.

Movies and TV shows paint us as obsessive, overly clingy people who show up at your front door looking like Taylor Swift in the “Blank Space” music video because you didn’t text us back.

But, let’s be real here. We all know that guys are far more dramatic than girls will ever be. Sure, Todd from Alpha Delta Pi will deny that he ever cried when you told him last Friday was just a one-night stand, but luckily, screenshots exist to prove it happened.

Peep below for our favorite real-life moments that prove guys are way more dramatic than girls. As if you needed more proof.

READ ALSO: Jay Z’s new album proves men will disappoint you

1. The one who cries after the breakup

When girls get dumped, they eat ice cream and download Tinder. When guys get dumped, they punch a hole in the wall and hyperventilate. And yet, we are still labeled as the criers!

2. The psycho

Nice! Jealousy is kind of cute until your bf threatens to kill the McDonald’s worker who gave you an extra side of ketchup. Check please.

3. The one who thinks this is Gossip Girl

Hate to break it to you bud, but it isn’t. And you are def not Chuck Bass. I’ve come to conclude that guys are watching way more Nicholas Sparks movies than we are because really, who says things like this in real life?

READ ALSO: Have you ever noticed all the dick emojis hang to the left?

4. The one who’s just too bad to handle

*eyeroll.* I mean really what is this, “Teen Wolf”?

5. The one with double standards

Guys could literally live stream themselves doing shots of their exes and expect you to be cool with it, but god forbid a dude walks by in the back of your snap story and it’s World War III. Double standards can SMD.

6. The one who’s suicidal because you haven’t texted them in 2 hours

Uh, what does “too late” even mean? I had the blessings of receiving this lovely message in my inbox from a guy I’d never even met. Thankfully he had no idea where I lived because he’s clearly a stage 934 clinger.

READ ALSO: How to wear red, white & blue without looking Trumpy

7. The one who needs constant reassurance

Vom. There is literally nothing more unattractive than a guy who fishes for compliments. But we’re the needy ones, right?

8. The one who overreacts over nothing

I can tell you right now dude, that attitude is not going to get you laid!

9. The one who is  “finding himself”

Classic. Isn’t it just easier to say you’re not feeling it anymore? We’re big girls, we prob have a back up plan lined up anyway.

READ ALSO: 12 lyrics that prove Christina Aguilera was the biggest fuckgirl in pop

10. The one who wants you to hate him

Sorry dude, you’ve got to care to hate someone. And we 100% do not care.