In efforts to befriend, date or sleep with us white men can have the tendency to bestow certain comments, questions and knowledge on to black women which they are curious about or deem to be important or even pressing. The following 8 comments/questions are nothing less than truth and here comes the disclaimer in order to save my arse from further comments, question and hateration: this does not intend to represent every white man or imply that every white man has said these things. OK. Good.
1. “What color is your pussy?”
To avoid engaging with the rather crude nature of this question this is where I stand: generally the rest of people’s body parts are the same color as their skin and generally the inside of peoples bodies are the same color that insides are.
2. “I’ve never kissed a black woman before”
This chat-up line guarantees that you’re never going to.
3. Have you heard the latest [enter latest hot rapper]?
When this question is asked it usually means they have no interest in your answer but do have a great deal in their own answer. And that’s great that one demonstrates a great deal of interest in hip-hop (if that’s what this means) but it’s really hard to care about this. Also, if you love ASAP Rocky that does not necessarily mean that I will love you.
4. “That’s not your real hair, is it? You should wear it natural.”
Sometimes black women don’t wear their hair natural. In my case these blonde braids, that I rock by the way, do not grow out of my head. Most common is the desire to see our natural hair. But perhaps we should experiment by giving a tuft of Afro hair to a white dude for him to look after for a week and see how they feel about weaves after that. But this is certainly beside the point: a black woman’s hair is no ones business.
5. “You have a great ass”
If your ass isn’t particularly big, the fact that you’re black means it is and a white dude wants to smack it, grab it and all the other things he’s seen in his favorite interracial porn.
6. “Beyoncé is so hot.”
By stating Beyoncé is hot, or another famous black woman, it means you must have a great appreciation for black women’s beauty similar to that of a white guys appreciation for Lucy Liu. This means by extension there’s potential that you may be interested in me, which is unfortunate because this comment renders any chance of a romance obsolete.
7. “You’re skin is like caramel!”
Or Mocha or Cappuccino or Latte or even a Frappuccino. I am part white, hence using drinks diluted with milk as a metaphor for my skin tone is all very clever.
8. “My step mom is black”
There could be situations where this could be of benefit: if in the future I’m married to a white dude, our family may be over at his family’s house for Thanksgiving. Race comes up: his step Mom and I have each other’s back. However, the fact that this comment is initially being said negates all of the above. I will never meet her because this friendship is void.
Frankie Decaiza Hutchinson is the Online Editor at Galore Magazine. She specializes in slow jams, gold jewelry, fried chicken, and hating. Follow @FrankieFatGold