Google is continually trying to top Amazon with its consumer products, and it’s newest addition is no different. On Monday, Google launched it’s newly re-named Google Express for the low cost of $95 annually. The premise is that google hires people to shop for you. All you do is order what you need, and someone will deliver it to you that same day.
This sounds pretty wonderful. After all, we’re eternally busy all the time and would rather save time by not running to the store and buying condoms in front of every other person that lives in your neighborhood. However, we think that Google Express is just another reason to hide in your house like a homebody all day. Here are our reasons why you should stick to getting your ass up and buying your own tampons like you’ve been doing.
1. You could meet your next boo in the soda aisle:
I swear to god, this happened to me. What an organic (no pun intended) place to meet a guy! You never know who you’re going to meet when you actually leave your house. Whether it’s a buff dude toting a cart full of muscle milk or an artsy dude with vegan cereal, happy shopping!
2. You save money in more ways than one
We know $95 a year isn’t much for all the time you’ll save, but did you forget about coupon-ing?! If you’re a smart shopper like I am, you utilize those suckers for all they are worth. Do you think those google shoppers have your CVS card number for you? I think not..
3. You experience new things:
Whether it’s the cheap champagne that was recommended to you by another customer at the liquor store or the new nail polish color you spotted at Duane Reade, there are always new things to discover wherever you go. If you’re blindly sending someone else your list, you’re going to get into a grocery rut- and no one likes a boring bitch.
4. You won’t enter a downward spiral
Let’s face the facts. You start with innocently ordering your groceries online. Next thing you know you only communicate with friends via Facebook chat, and start obsessively using Match.com with no intent of actually meeting anyone in person. You should spend as little time in your house as possible, even if it’s running down to Whole Foods once a week that gets you out of your sweatpants.
