Ever found staring up at the ceiling, literally counting down the number of seconds until your partner is about to come, because you’ve memorized your sex routine? Or maybe, you’ve had a slew of random hook up, but despite being spontaneous and with a bunch of different people they all ended the same way…and that was with you underwhelmed and generally, unsatisfied?
Boredom during sex is no joke. And it isn’t just a problem that occurs when you’re in long term relationships. In fact, a lot of boredom during sex can actually be a circumstance (sometimes) of random hook ups. Because you don’t know the other person very well, you (or they) may not feel comfortable enough to push the boundaries. Think about it, if you just met someone, and suddenly you’re taking off each other’s clothes you might not feel adventurous enough to suggest they tie you up to your bedposts, put nipple clips on you, and start going to town with a riding crop on your a** (although this exact scenario may help you spice up your sex life, and if you’re looking to get into kink and BDSM play, don’t worry, we got you).
If you’re in a relationship, on the other hand, you may have fallen in to such a rhythmic routine with your significant other that you may have forgotten what the thrill of sex even feels like. The reasons for sexual boredom are many, but is it possible to get out of this rut?
Skip all the corny bullsh*t that you’ve hear about as cures for sexual boredom like changing the music and location (these were actual tips I read) and do something simple. Stop doing the same thing over and over again. If you’re in a relationship a lot of the times the routine can end up looking something like this, you go down on him, he goes down on you, you make out, you penetrate, he comes, you’re done. If you’re not in a relationship, because you’re trying to play things safe and you don’t have time to really develop a rapport with your rando partner, the scenario might look strikingly similar.
Try reveling in foreplay a bit, and stop isolating penetration as THE event in sex. This doesn’t mean “take things slowly and gently”. You can be rough, impulsive, and rapid by switching positions while you go down on your significant other. But actually hang in those moments a little longer. Spank at length, nibble different places, penetrate, stop, and go down on each other again. Hell, break out your camera and film your session, play it back, turn yourselves on, and do it all over again. And if all else fails, you can always do the revolutionary… that is telling your partner what would get you off, what sensations you like most, and some new things you’d like to experiment with in bed. Even if the answer to that question is using your vibrator while watching porn while they sit back and watch. Let them watch you–at least it’s guaranteed to be a different experience for the both of you.